Apologies

I haven't actually written a post on Blogspot since the beginning of this year. And here we are at the beginning of summer. Jeez. I'm going to go ahead and blame it all on Tumblr and how addictive it is. It's more of a blogging blog, though, if you know what I mean. It's more social. Whereas Blogspot is more of a semi-truthful diary that no one ever reads.

However, it was brought to my attention this weekend that I have at least one loyal reader (shout out to little Drea! who apparently isn't little anymore) so I've decided to devote at least some time in my hugely hectic life to this here blog. At least then I'll get some use out of it besides checking to see if my favorite movie blogger has reviewed any of the new releases (this guy doesn't have a Tumblr, can you believe it?)

So. Here we are. I feel like I used to be a lot more whiney than I am now because that's primarily what I used Blogspot for. That, and hurling thinly veiled insults at people. Wow, I was mature.

Speaking of mature, CHS's graduating class of 2011 made me feel entirely too old. Time really does fly when you're older, I suppose. The 2012 graduates will be the last grads that I went to school with. Wow. Then in 2013 my little sister will graduate high school and I will graduate college and it will officially be the end of the world as I know it. Shiiiittt.

As for now, I'm heading back to Statesboro...later today actually on this lovely May 22. I'll need to pack my stuff up including my adorable cat, finish updating my iTunes, and buy a replacement car adapter for the one I have somehow managed to break. I'd say this has been a pretty productive week off. I got caught up on all my TV shows and watched the finales of Gossip Girl, Chuck, Castle, Bones, Smallville, and The Vampire Diaries. I slept a lot. I partied a good amount. Got all the shenanigans out of my system so that I can buckle down and make to A's over the summer so that I don't lose HOPE and spiral into debt. Watched a couple good movies, caught up with good friends.

I'm going to attempt to stay in Statesboro the whole month I have classes. Except I am going to Pensacola, FL for Memorial Day weekend. That should be...well, fun maybe. Then I'm making a point to go to Tybee every weekend since it's only 45 minutes away and I need a tan. Cracking down on the whole education thing is going to be stressful and I'm going to need mine vacations. Plus, I'm actually going to work out since the RAC won't be overcrowded anymore. Yay. Then it's back to Commerce at the end of June. Phew, I can't wait to be back home already. I enjoy being lazy.

July is going to be the best month. I'm being lazy until the 16 when I'm going to the beach. Then, prepping for the most awesome road trip ever (see http://worldwearytravelers.com for more details) that begins on July 28 and last until we return. I'm going to video and document all the happenings on various outlets of social media and a handy dandy notebook that I will fashion into a best selling novel, catapulting me into a life of fortune and fame. And then Elton John will show up and play us all a tune.

(Note: "Apologies" by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals)

BEST MOVIES OF 2010

I've been meaning to post a blog about the best movies of last year for ages but I've been neglecting the whole "blogging" thing. Now that school has started back I imagine I'll have more time to actually post things since Blogger is my go-to procrastination machine. Thank you, Google.

Unfortunately, people like me don't get to vote for any worthwhile awards show. (No, the People's Choice doesn't count.) So, I'm going to start a new tradition of naming what I thought was the best. Because I think it will be cool.

BEST MOVIES OF 2010

10. BLUE VALENTINE/NEVER LET ME GO -- I haven't seen either of these movies. Not seeing Never Let Me Go is probably my biggest regret right now because I'm positive that I'll love it. Blue Valentine hasn't been in a single theatre near me and it's truly frustrating the shit out of me. Apparently it's the same idea as Revolutionary Road but more heartbreaking. Which sounds amazing. So, #10 is dedicated to two movies which have the potential to shake up my somewhat iron-clad Top Nine.

9. TOY STORY 3 -- I wasn't really crazy about the first two Toy Story movies. Actually, the first one really creeped me out as a kid. But man, did the third one make me cry. Truly, the only reason I can think of is that the plot was relevant to my life more so than the other two. Andy went off to college and forgot about his childhood. And isn't that something that happens to all of us? We grow up and forget about the days when we could entertain ourselves with toys and imagination. There's something very human about longing for those days and knowing you can never have them again. Plus, Spanish Buzz is hilarious.

8. HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PT. 1 -- Okay, maybe it's just because I'm a total Harry Potter freak. Maybe it's because I longed for this movie to come out since 2007. Maybe it's because of the wealth of Harry/Hermione scenes. Whatever the reason, I really really enjoyed this one. And this is coming from the mouth of a purist who is still REALLY pissed they put Padma and Parvati in the same house. Which is incorrect. Nevertheless, HP7 part one might be my favorite Potter movie to date. It has such a different feel than the rest of the movies. I don't know what it is. It's kinda like a road-trip-to-our-doom full of mystery, jealousy, and heart that builds the tension for the ultimate Harry/Voldemort confrontation so well that I just couldn't accept the fact that I have to wait months to see the other half.

7. THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT -- If you haven't seen this movie, you really should. It's funny, it's moving, it's socially relevant, the cast is amazing. This movie has so much to offer it's hard to pick just one thing that stands out. This lesbian couple shows us a family and a romance more believable than any rom-com from recent years and, at the same time allows us to see the difficulties of staying in love that everyone experiences.

6. INCEPTION -- Before the fall happened, this movie was a lot higher up on my list. It's something totally original. Almost as if it came out of nowhere. This is what a summer blockbuster should be. It has awesome visual effects, plenty of action, and *gasp!* a plot! And good acting! It's incredible. The whole thing kind of speeds along and you have to pay close attention to details. It reminded me of a really good episode of Lost plus Leonardo Dicaprio. And that ending? Man.

5. EASY A -- I think people were right when they predicted that this would be the next Mean Girls. Let's face it, we'll all be quoting this movie for years to come and watching it over and over again until it becomes a reliable movie for any gathering. Definitely the funniest movie I saw all year, hands down. And Emma Stone was awesome in it.

4. 127 HOURS -- This was one of those movies that you see and you feel different afterwards. Like something happened to you while you were in the theatre and now all of a sudden you're different. I remember everything about this movie-going experience. It was at the AMC Theatre in Discover Mills with Colton. We played at Dave & Buster's beforehand. I had popcorn and a Cherry Coke. And when James Franco cut his arm off, I think I had a panic attack. Afterwards, Colton and I drank whiskey.

3. TRUE GRIT -- I don't think I've ever seen a Western that I enjoyed more than this. It's a tale of revenge and determination and grit. It made me want to know what exactly drives a person to pursue such a goal no matter what the cost. Is it pride? Is it love? Or is it something else that we can't fully explain? Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon are a fantastic duo and really funny. But Hailee Steinfeld stole the show for me. For a 12 year old to be that amazing in her first film is ridiculous. She deserves every nomination she gets.

2. THE SOCIAL NETWORK -- Probably the closest a film has gotten to defining our generation. This movie to me isn't about Mark Zuckerburg. This movie is about us and our increasing socialization and disconnectedness. The man built an multi-billion dollar institution around the idea that none of us can truly express ourselves or interact with one another. Who wants to actually make friends or keep friends when all you have to do is send a request? Social networking isn't making people more social, it's making us all less social. It explores human emotions in a way everyone can relate to and understand because EVERYONE HAS A FACEBOOK. It's a freaking global phenomenon. And who knew that watching a guy refreshing a website over and over again could be so heartbreaking?

1. BLACK SWAN -- Obviously. It quite literally took my breath away as cliche as that sounds. Natalie Portman's performance was the best of her career and the best all year. Mila Kunis surprised me with how good she was. And the story was something mind-blowing that no one could have predicted. It's crazy and ridiculous yet beautiful and human. I'd describe it as haunting and one of those movies that just sticks with you. Colton and I normally discuss movies in detail right there in the theatre but during this one we were oddly silent and totally blown away by the end. And if Natalie Portman doesn't get the Oscar, there's no justice in this world.

**Honorable Mention**
-The Fighter (*It's worth watching just to see how great the cast works together. And Amy Adams gets in a bitch fight. And Marky Mark is shirtless. And it's one of those sports movies that sends chills down your spine.)
-The Town (*Go Ben Affleck.)
-Tangled (*It's been far too long since we've had a really touching old school Disney Princess movie.)
-RED (*The best fun action/adventure movie this year. Awesome cast.)
-The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (Sweden)(*Noomi Rapace is the best thing to come out of Sweden since ABBA. And I'm highly doubtful the American version will live up to this movie.)
-Kick Ass (*Chloe Moretz was amazing and hilarious and really really kick ass.)
-Winter's Bone (*Jennifer Lawrence's performance is the sole reason to watch this movie. She's unbelievably good.)
-Alice in Wonderland (*I love the classic Alice tale and I really enjoyed the continuation of it. Plus, I love me some Tim Burton.)
-Tron:Legacy (*It was fun, it was reaaalllyyy pretty to look at, and it had Michael Sheen. Here's hoping Disney makes a sequel.)
-Burlesque (*I don't know why, but I really liked this movie. But seriously, Christina looks like Snooki now.)
-The Runaways (*Proof that Kristen Stewart is a fully capable actress when given the right material.)

WORST OF 2010

-The Last Song --What a travesty. Miley Cyrus needs stick with her day job as Hannah Montana and stop trying to convince me she's an actress. The most entertainment I've ever gotten out of seeing that snaggle tooth is when her ass was smoking pot. I'm sorry, "salvia."
-Killers -- Katherine Heigl, please go back to Grey's Anatomy.
-When In Rome --I love Kristen Bell, but this was a stinker.
-The Bounty Hunter/The Switch -- Jennifer Aniston, please stop making movies.

**Note: You may be wondering, "where's Dear John?" Well, it was saved by the fact that Amanda Seyfried can act circles around little Miley.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENTS

1. LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS -- Early last year I had this as a potential Best Picture Nominee. It seemed so good on paper. Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal are amazing together and have great chemistry. I just don't know what it's trying to tell me. Is this a family melodrama about the son who can't get it right? Is this a romantic comedy about friends with benefits? Is this about "living with, living with, not dying from disease!"? Halfway through it lost me and ended up like every other rom com: a "tense" chase scene and a cliche "you complete me" moment. Save it.
2. COUNTRY STRONG -- Gwyneth is convincing as an alcoholic star in the middle of a breakdown. Leighton Meester and Garrett Hedlund are adorable. All of the above are really good singers. But this movie just did not mesh well. It was laughable when it shouldn't have been and really kind of awkward. I'm still not sure if the bird was supposed to mean anything or not or why it was so hard for Tim McGraw to play a character so similar to his real life persona. The soundtrack was bitchin though.
3. RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE --I actually really like this one. The only reason it's a "letdown" is because I can't wait to see the next one now!


Stay tuned for....MOST ANTICIPATED MOVIES OF 2011....coming soon.

"So, why did you leave Iowa?"

Spotted: Bekah Andrews once again procrastinating to the max. Should I be worried by the fact that I give such little thought to my school work? Probably. Am I? Negative.

What is currently occupying my thoughts are a number of things that are proving to be...troublesome.

1. I have not seen Black Swan yet. Granted, I did see 127 Hours because of this and it was AMAZING. I am still pissed. Luckily, with some heavy sleuthing I have discovered that the movie that will no doubt become one of my favorites ever will be playing in ATL at the AMC Phipps Theatre by no later than December 10th. I know. I'm excited too.

2. I feel that I am being very indecisive about a number of things. Like when you're a senior in high school and you can't decide what color your prom dress will be, who will be your date, will Steven be there, should you get drunk after, what if your bff's mom finds out, etc. Decisions need to be made or they pile up until you make a bunch of bad ones.

3. There are not enough hours in the day.

4. It is sooooooooo cold in my apartment that I haven't had a good, deep slumber in days. Thank God I went to Atlanta this past weekend because Colton's apartment was warm. If I had been forced to stay in this hellhole all weekend AND it was freezing there is no telling what I would have done.

5. I am thisclose to having my Christmas presents finished and wrapped. Some people are just so damn difficult to buy for, ya know? It bothers me that I have half a present sitting here, not finished, unwrapped and in my way.

6. I can't illegally download music in my apartment. Why? I don't know. I was going to do it at Colton's buy somebody didn't know the wifi password. Now I must go on campus. To the library of all things. I guess then I'll be forced to study a bit before my Anthropology final.

7. Tomorrow...or later today actually...I have many things to do. Two finals. And I need to sell my books and buy scantrons and run an errand for my aunt and go talk to some lady at some gym about giving me a job. Yes. The dreaded J. O. B. I am such a hypocrite. I swore never to get one of those until after I was fully educated. Damn. I also need to do some laundry and clean my apartment so that it isn't totally filthy for a month while I'm gone. Why haven't I done this things already you ask? Well, I'm a procrastinator.

8. Wednesday I'm going to have to transport myself, my cat, and my dog back to Commerce. This is going to be tricky. It's a three hour drive. Last time I had to pull over twice because Leia got sick because someone who shall remain nameless fed her before the drive. Mom. I just know the two of them are going to drive me batshit crazy and not let me enjoy the soothing sounds of Patsy Cline like I want to. Oh well, it has to be done.

And then I will be home free. HOME FREE. I can't wait to do nothing for a month. Actually, I'll be doing many things. Like watching all of the movies and tv shows I have lined up. Also, there are several books and graphic novels in a stack by my bed just waiting to be read. Then there's Rachael's bday party and The Nutcracker and Disney World and HARRY POTTER LAND and NEW YORK CITY.

"Because I looked around and realized I didn't want anyone's life."

In the past week I have seen five movies at the theatre. Tangled (again), Love & Other Drugs, The Warrior's Way, Burlesque, and 127 Hours. This weekend I will watch both Narnia and The Tourist and Black Swan ASAP. I have an addiction. I realize this.

-Tangled (A-), WAY better than the Princess and the Frog. Not better than WallE. Still, I loved the story and the music and the old school Disney of it all.
-Love & Other Drugs (C), Anne and Jake are pretty and incredibly fun to watch together. However, I'm still not sure what the movie was trying to tell me. It seemed like it was going in a new direction and then we ended up like every other RomCom.
-The Warrior's Way (C), Ninjas. Cowboys. Carnival Folk. I don't know what it all means. I do love Geoffrey Rush anytime he's onscreen. I also love cute Asian babies and Kate Bosworth's two different eyes. What I don't love is bad movies.
-Burlesque (B+), I'm ashamed that I loved this movie. It was cliche and kinda cheesy. Sooooooo predictable. I rolled my eyes several times. But the cast and the camp just got me and yes, I did download the soundtrack.
-127 Hours (A+), James Franco (A++), he would have my vote for Best Actor if I got a vote. Everyone needs to see this movie. It was one of those that made me feel different as I was walking out of the theatre. And I'm still thinking about it days later.

I am running low on M&Ms and Ginger Ale. My contacts are sticking to my eyeballs. My room is a disaster area. My kitchen is empty. It is cold.

I think I'll study for my exams now.

"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have."

I want to go ahead and express how deeply unsatisfied I am with the coming week. It always seems to be like this the week before the holidays. And not only that, but Thursday when I make my long trek home I'll be coming home for the holidays AND for HARRY POTTER. Really, I hope my professors don't expect much out of this week. I know they're going to though. I have a final project due Wednesday that I haven't yet started on. Whatever.

Can we talk briefly about Harry Potter? Would that be too annoying? I feel like it's all I ever talk about here recently. Personally, I think it's understandable. I mean, this is the beginning of the end of a huge piece of my life. I know that sounds sad but I grew up reading Harry Potter and then watching the movies--at times talking about everything that was wrong about them but I digress. I seriously feel like Harry Potter has always been there. Like Disney movies, you know? You can always count on there being another one in a few years. When the last book came out, obviously I had been to the midnight release (as I had for several other HP book releases) and I read the thing through without sleeping. I remember being so tired at one point that I had to literally slap my face to stay awake. I went through so many Kleenex that by the time I finished I was emotionally exhausted. I felt like it had happened to me. Even then, I was so sad that there wouldn't be another Potter book. But I had something to cheer me up: at least there was a few more movies left to watch. Well, not anymore. Now there's just two.

Obviously, I'll be okay when it's all over. Eventually. But, the thing about saying goodbye to something you really love is that it never fully goes away. When you're turning those final pages of a book--or series rather--it's almost as if this overwhelming feeling of dread sneaks up on you. Like, maybe if I read a little slower this feeling will last a little longer. It's like the last few months of high school when you're trying to come to terms with the fact that you'll never be the same. They call it "The End" for a reason. Maybe you have to be an old softy and geek at heart to truly understand, I don't know. But sometimes it's almost painful to let go. All of that anticipation waiting to FINALLY see what happens turns immediately to something completely different upon reaching the end. I guess that's how it has to be though. Stories need endings and people need closure. You can't really have one without the other.

For me, watching these last two Harry Potter movies is just prolonging the inevitable. I knew way back in 2007 how badly I wanted the story to continue forever. Closing the book on your own childhood is never an easy thing. One of the hardest things in life is growing up and realizing that there is no Hogwarts, there is no Santa Clause, and those characters at Disney World are actually really hot and irritated people. You learn that things don't always turn out the way you think they should and people, well they'll constantly disappoint you. Parents are people who are just as fucked up as you are and everyone makes mistakes. Your friends will let you down and you'll have your heart broken more times than you'd like. Even still, "We'll always have Paris" as they say. We'll always be able to look back fondly on our childhood favorites and maybe feel a tiny glimmer of what we felt the first time.

As for the story of Harry Potter, I'd like to quote Mr. Stephen King: "No ending can be right, because it shouldn't be over at all. The magic is not supposed to go away.

Rowling will almost certainly go on to other works, and they may be terrific, but it won't be quite the same, and I'm sure she knows that. Readers will be able to go back and reread the existing books — as I've gone back to Tolkien, as my wife goes back to Patrick O'Brian's wonderful sea stories featuring Captain Aubrey and Dr. Maturin, as others do with novels featuring Travis McGee or Lord Peter Wimsey — and rereading is a great pleasure, but it's not the bated-breath, what's-gonna-happen-next suspense that Potter readers have enjoyed since 1997. And, of course, Harry's audience is different. It is, in large part, made up of children who will be experiencing these unique and rather terrible feelings for the first time.

But there's comfort. There are always more good stories, and now and then there are great stories. They come along if you wait for them."

And what exactly is wrong with being a big super geek in the first place? You know what, I'll watch my movies in Swedish and I'll read my freaking comic books and I'll quote Star Wars and Harry Potter until the day I die. So, there.

i solemnly swear i'm up to no good.

It is cold. I'm in South Georgia and it is cold. What's the deal? Literally, I'm bundled up in sweatpants, a hoodie, and three blankets and I still can't feel my toes. This is unusual.

This week I neglected to a lot of things. I didn't go to class that much which isn't terrible but it isn't good either. I need to take two make-up quizzes and give my Spanish professor a doctor's excuse for missing an oral exam yesterday. If I wasn't dying a horrible death I would have totally been there. I already had my speech written and everything. It was about the time I went to Disney World with my whole family and left my most favoritest Pokemon keychain in the hotel room. I cried the whole way home.

Speaking of Disney World, it's that time again. The Holidays. Seriously, I can't wait until the wonderful day of November 18th. That is the day The Holidays officially start if you ask this girl. It is also the day Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows comes out. I've been obsessing for the past two weeks and will continue obsessing for the rest of the month I imagine. Omg. Bailey and I are rewatching all the movies and I realised recently that I haven't seen the first one in ages and yet I still quote the damn thing like my 11 year old self. Mostly, I wish I was Hermione. One time, someone told me that I reminded them of Hermione and I literally almost peed my pants. It was possibly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Another time someone told me that I reminded them of Juno and that was pretty awesome too. Obviously, I'm destined to dress up as Hermione Granger one Halloween. I want to wait until I can do it properly though and I still have yet to acquire a wand. No worries though because I AM GOING TO THE WIZARDING WORLD OF HARRY POTTER. I already have biting wit and a time turner so the only other thing I would need would be Gryffindor robes...

IMPORTANT DATES TO REMEMBER THIS HOLIDAY SEASON:
November 18: Family Fun Thanksgiving Dinner (although it falls on a very inconvenient day and I may not make it...)& HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PT.1
November 23: Leave for Tex-ass
November 25: Thanksgiving Day
November 26: BLACK FRIDAY (In which I spend copious amounts of dollars on people I love...and possibly myself)
November 30: My super cute brother's 12th birthday
December 8: My super adorable sister's 16th birthday. Scary.
December 17: Leave for Orlando AKA Disney World & The Wizarding World of Harry Potter
December 22: Home from Disney World
December 25: CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 29: Leave for NYC (if we ever actually book a hotel)
December 31: New Year's Eve Times Square

Note to self: Self, remember to write a Farewell 2010 post before being lost in the throngs of people in Times Square. Courtney, Colton, Amh, Alex if you're reading this we needs to get busy booking or else I fear the worst. The other day I noticed that hotels in NYC are filling up fast.

I want to cut my hair off. I want to buy a video camera. I want to buy something crazy. I want to be done with this assy assy semester. I want the holidays to start.

I hereby swear that I will not miss another day of class and that I will actually do all the assignments that are given to me. I also promise to kick ass on my exams. Because if I'm amazing in school, the holidays will be so much better. Really, if I want to feel good about myself I've got to start making an effort of sorts. It puts me in a weird-anxious mood when I'm lazy. Not healthy.

Speaking of healthy, I haven't drank any alcohol or smoked any substance since August. I haven't eaten seafood since I saw The Cove last month. And now, I have decided to challenge myself by becoming a vegetarian. That's right. I'm not eating meat. It's been a week so far and I'm not in any real pain. We'll see how long this lasts.

I would continue typing this blog of nonsense but I'm being interrupted at the moment by a little person called Tucker Claire Wahl. And she is serious.

Halloween

In some traditions, Halloween is said to mark the end of the lighter half of the year and the beginning of the darker half of the year. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I kind of think the last part of the year is way better than most of the other months.

The Ancient Celts believed that the barrier between this world and the next is particularly thin on this day allowing spirits to pass through. Sometimes these spirits are happy spirits like Casper. Other times these spirits are super scary like the one in Angie's house.

The souling practice of commemorating the souls in purgatory with candle lanterns carved from turnips, became adapted into the making of jack-o'-lanterns. So pumpkin carving is all about preserving creepy souls in purgatory. Weird.

Halloween imagery includes themes of death, evil, the occult, magic, or mythical monsters. Traditional characters include ghosts, witches, skeletons, vampires, werewolves, demons, bats, spiders, and black cats. Black and orange are the traditional Halloween colors and represent the darkness of night and the color of bonfires, autumn leaves, and jack-o'-lanterns.

"What sets Halloween costumes apart from costumes for other celebrations or days of dressing up is that they are often designed to imitate supernatural and scary beings. Costumes are traditionally those of monsters such as vampires, ghosts, skeletons, witches, and devils, or in more recent years such science fiction-inspired characters as aliens and superheroes. There are also costumes of pop culture figures like presidents, athletes, celebrities, or film, television, and cartoon characters. Another popular trend is for women (and in some cases, men) to wear sexy or revealing costumes."-Wikipedia, AKA: women like to dress like whores. Thanks for your discretion, Wikipedia. Being Juno was super fun except when people thought I was really pregnant and looked at me with disapproval. Tehe.

Unmarried women were told that if they sat in a darkened room and gazed into a mirror on Halloween night, the face of their future husband would appear in the mirror. However, if they were destined to die before marriage, a skull would appear. I'm trying this tonight and I'll let you know what happens. Hopefully Jake Gyllenhal will forget about T. Swift and realize he loves me.

Foods I Ate In Honor Of Halloween: M&M's, Nerds, Pixie Sticks, Hershey's, Dum Dums, Cupcakes, Apple Pie, Caramel Apples, Pumpkin Pie.

Movies I Watched In Honor Of Halloween: Scream, Scream 2, Scream 3, the preview for Scream 4 like 7 times, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Red Eye, Sleepy Hollow, The Crazies, Freddy vs. Jason, 28 Days Later, Halloweentown, Halloweentown 2: Kalabar's Revenge, Halloween, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Hocus Pocus, etc.

that's me in the corner

I need to change something. I feel like I say that all the time. I also feel like I go through periods of time where I experience this intense need to change something about my life. Sometimes it expresses itself as a change of hair color or maybe a brief wardrobe change. Sometimes I change the kind of music I listen to or the kind of movies I'm in to or my favorite TV show. Sometimes I decide that I will start eating different foods or drinking different drinks. Sometimes I decide to delete certain things: people, places, thoughts, feelings. I'm good at deleting.

I'm not sure if it is a totally normal thing, this need for change. I don't see other people making changes that often. Maybe every now and again. Most of the time people just SAY they want to be more interesting or they want to get in shape or they want to stop acting like a dumbass. Hardly anyone actually ever does what they say they're going to do. It's disappointing. If everyone did half the things they really wanted to do people would be more interesting. They'd also probably be happier.

I recently got awarded this grant for $16,000. That is a lot of money. To me. Seriously like two months ago I was in a total state of dispair at how much money I didn't have and now the thought that I have all this money scares me. I can afford to do the things I really want to do. I can go to NYC this New Years and totally afford it. I can study abroad wherever I want. Hell, I can fly to fucking Amsterdam.

When I graduate stupid college, I'm going to sell my car and all the shit I have that I don't need (except my books, DVDs, and interesting things, and laptop, and iphone) and I'm going to move somewhere terrifying. And buy a motorcycle. Because why in the world wouldn't I? I'm not getting married any time soon. Contrary to popular belief, one does not have to be married with a mortgage and baby by 25. I don't even understand how people have fully decided who they are by the time they're 25 much less decided that they'll be that same person forever and ever amen.

It's not healthy.

In other news: I love Colton. Thank you for today. I had a great time in ATL. It made me wish that you and I had a trendy flat in the city with super cool things and super cool clothes. Everyone should go watch The Cove right now. It's horrifyingly amazing. I'm never eating seafood again, I swear. Yes, I'm serious Callie. Good thing we had that delicious meal at the Red Lobster recently because that's the last marine life I'll be tasting ever. Speaking of, just being around you and Courtney and Jamie and Anna-Marie was the best time we've had together in a long time. I like it best when we're just existing in the same place. Sometimes you can't plan the best days. They just happen. The Whigs was one of those happy happy concerts that you leave feeling a million times better about life. Music can do that to you. It's like everyone there is united in one thing and everything just sort of gets simple. It doesn't matter that the drunk sixteen year olds that snuck in are getting it on in front of you. You're just at peace with it all. I also love Mason and the other Colton. They are fun and much cooler than most people.

SOUNDTRACK OF THE MOMENT:
"Everybody Hurts"-R.E.M.
"Wild is the Wind"-Nina Simone
"Congratulations"-MGMT
"Fuck You"-Cee Lo Green
"Come Home"-One Republic & Sara Bareilles
"Raise Your Glass"-Pink
"Until the Stars Fall from the Sky"-Mark Hoppus & Richard Gibbs
"I Can Feel a Hot One"-Manchester Orchestra
"2012"-Jay Sean & Nicki Minaj
"Ashes & Wine"-A Fine Frenzy
"This Ship Was Built to Last"-The Duke Spirit
"The Ice is Getting Thinner"-Death Cab for Cutie
"The Difference Between Us"-The Dead Weather
"40 Dogs"-Bob Schneider
"Beat the Devil's Tattoo"-Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
"Lies"-The Black Keys
"Come Back When You Can"-Barcelona
"Sometime Around Midnight"-The Airborne Toxic Event

9:00 am is lame

It's getting just a bit exhausting, driving back and forth. I woke up this lovely Monday morning at 7:30 here in Commerce in order to start my day. It's now 8:30 and I've had two cups of coffee already. This does not bode well. Coffee makes me jittery around lunch. Being jittery makes me restless and restlessness isn't really the coolest emotion.

I have an iPhone 4. It is possibly the greatest thing I've ever owned. I love it. My parents are awesome parents for letting me have my bday present early. Speaking of, my 20th birthday is next Monday. How odd. I find that I'm not in the least bit excited. I would be more excited if I was 22 because then I'd be inches away from graduating the financial extortion that is college. The only thing I envy about Mark Zuckerburg is that he didn't have to finish. Asshole.

I watched Fired Up! and Disturbia yesterday. I think it's a little weird now because Sarah Roemer is in both. She's also in The Event that comes on tonight. Which I won't be watching because it shares a time slot with Gossip Girl which doesn't go online until the end of the week, and frankly I just don't have that kind of time. I think I might be the only person I know who would rather stay in every single day of the week so as not to miss my shows. It truly is exhausting having to spend the weekend catching up via Hulu. Which is what I did this weekend. It's strange. I remembered to watch every show yet I forgot to take my quiz last night. Thank God Sociology profs are so lenient and give you do-overs. Life needs more do-overs.

Another thing that might possibly be weird about me is that I love to watch a movie by myself. At the theatre. Which I will no doubt be doing Tuesday evening after Glee because that's Stimulus Tuesday at Carmike and I want to support the economy. Perfect! Let Me In starts at 10:00. Yay! Is this weird? I don't care.

I'm beginning to feel at least some sort of...contentedness? with college. I finally picked the major I'm actually going to stick with: English. Now I'm like those cool English majors from all those movies who are always self-righteous, stubborn, and single. You know, like Rachel Leigh Cook in She's All That. All I really need to do is take of my glasses and straighten my hair and Freddie Prinze will surely fall for me. Thank you 90's teen movies for ruining my life's expectations.

In other news: my family reunion was cancelled due to a death in the family and apparently I don't have to go to my other side's Thanksgiving this year. Which means: Harry. Potter. World. That's right. Plus, I think another trip to Disney is in order. It's been like...two years. I wonder what wand I'll get...PLUS, NYC ROAD TRIP 2010/2011 is basically 45% complete with planning stages. We've really go to finish planning and start working on mix CDs.

Thank Allah that it is Fall. At home, it's the best weather. At school, it's hot. I want to come home for the holidays. And, it's good movie season. I haven't seen a bad movie in weeks. Complaints: Never Let Me Go and Catfish remain unattainable. Don't let me down, Cine.

I'm going to post a blog later this week about the latest movies I've seen. On the big screen, not in my apartment. That would take too long and be redundant. I'm going to The Whigs concert this Friday. I know nothing about them and have heard one song. However, Courtney and Mason like them so I feel relatively confident that I'll have a blast. Even sober. I also have already planned my Halloween costume and I guarantee that it will be way cooler than whatever hooker costume the majority of America has planned. Pop culture > Playboy bunny, kitty cat, slut.

I LOVE FALL.

Something's Not Right Here...

Howdy, dear friends. I've been saving up for this blog so you're in for a treat. Some time ago, a close friend of mind decided that I'm not patriotic. Or rather, I don't like America enough. I'm not sure how this person arrived at this conclusion. After all, if I hated this place then I'd leave. And what would I do without such miraculous and purely American things such as: hotdogs, baseball, consumerism (I have a problem with purchasing DVDs), TELEVISION, HOLLYWOOD (which I still haven't seen in person), and the most magical city I have ever set foot in: NEW YORK CITY. Plus, thanks to Zell Miller, I'm not going to owe a bazillion dollars when I get out of college (only a tens of thousands). Also, apple pie. And I think John F. Kennedy is hot. And Abraham Lincoln. I would hit that.

No, I kind of like my relatively easy life. I don't have to go out and scavenge for food and I didn't have to shoot people at the tender age of eight. I've got AC, running water, plumbing, and McDonald's. I also have my own TV, an iPhone, and a working laptop. I'll stay at this disgusting institution called college for a few more years and then I'll be...something. I'll make the same amount of money (probably less) as my parents did. I'll probably live in the same kind of area I grew up in and essentially live my life the exact same until I'm so old that my kids take care of me and I eventually die. I'll have a comfortable life and nothing too terrible will ever happen to me. Unless I get some disease or any of the various types of apocalypse scenarios ensue, that would be another story.

HOWEVER, and I say this with great love and affection in my heart, America in 2010 is not a happy place. It isn't a grand utopia and it is not "the greatest country on earth." Maybe it used to be. Maybe it has the potential to be. But no, I'd have to argue that it is not the greatest. Perhaps top ten. And it really depends on what we're judging "greatness" by here. Is it how happy people are? How much money we make? The freedoms we have and don't have? Certainly, anyone can typically walk out of their house and not expect to be blown up. I can dress like a total prostitute and not be stoned in the street. Just because there are places worse than America, doesn't mean America is the best. Also, DISCLAIMER: I'm not an anarchist, communist, socialist, etc. Please don't call the cops and have me arrested, I'm already on probation. Thanks.

Did you know that in America, the greatest country in the world, 1 in 7 Americans is below the poverty line set by the government (which is: less than $10,000 annually for a single person and less than $22,000 annually for a family of four)? There are almost 40 million people (including 12 million children) who live below the poverty line, 19 million of which are considered "impoverished." However, 90% of Americans consider themselves to be middle-class. Well, how on earth can that be if 30% are below the poverty line? Are they embarrassed to admit it? Or is it simply because, hey if there's someone worse off than me, I must not be doing too bad? The pure and simple fact is: the United States is THE MOST economically unequal of any industrialized nation in the world. How could it not be when the top 1% has all the money and so many people are impoverished? The fact is, the middle class is shrinking. More and more people are falling away from the middle class and into the lower class without even realizing. How can there be so much wealth at the top, and so little spread out among the people?

*In the year 2000, an average CEO makes 431 times more than the average employee. And that's not including CEOs like Nike, etc. Obviously that guy makes wayyyy more because your Air Force Ones really get made in Guatemala for about one penny.

*Not just factory jobs are being outsourced. Recently, highly skilled professions such as radiology are being outsourced for much cheaper. All it takes is an email.

*The number one predictor of your SAT score is your family income. Also, later in life it turns out that SAT scores aren't connected AT ALL to graduation rates or success rates in college. Maybe that's why we can't all go to Harvard, hmm?

But hey, what are we supposed to do about the poor? After all, they're only poor because they're lazy, right? If they worked hard they could be just like us middle class people. Maybe they should stop living off welfare and our tax dollars, right? Did you know that you can only claim social welfare advantages for five years total and then you're cut off? Five years. So no, I don't think anyone is conducting their whole lives on the bare minimum that social welfare gets them. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to cut social welfare programs and increase outsourcing, eh Mr. Bush?

Here's another interesting tidbit: did you know that even in developing countries there are no power lines above ground? I mean, how many times has your power gone out when it snows or lightning strikes? It doesn't seem practical at all to leave them above ground. I assumed that's just the way it was done. But no, even in Africa they've got underground power lines. Africa, people. Aren't they supposed to be "uncivilized" or something? The reason why America's infrastructure is crap is because there's no money to change and no one really wants to anyway. There are still natural gas lines in this country made of wood. Maybe if we changed that up a bit, there wouldn't be natural gas explosions like the one in San Bruno, California this week that killed seven people.

Also, the USA has the highest total documented prison and jail population in the world. And that's not including Guantanamo. Everyone knows that's undocumented. "In 2008, over 7.3 million people were on probation, in jail or prison, or on parole at year-end — 3.2% of all U.S. adult residents or 1 in every 31 adults."(U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics)That means the U.S. has less than 5% of the world's population and 23.4% of the world's prison population. Why? I mean, we've got the death penalty. Did you know states that have the death penalty have higher rates of homicides than states who do not have the death penalty? Also, those rates decrease when the death penalty is taken out of the state and increase when it is reintroduced. I bet they're not connected. Oh, and here's something else I find interesting about the greatest country in the world: if you kill a person of color, you're less likely to be sentenced with the death penalty than if you kill a white person.

Society remains stable as long as people feel that they are above, or better off than others. Seeing as how the majority of Americans are middle class WASPs, you can see why change doesn't seem to happen.

*Target makes more money off of credit card debt from the Target Cards than it does in total sales.

*According to Plato, every culture considers some type of inequality fair.

*Egalitarianism offers little incentive for people to do their best. Meaning, people have to be able to get a reward in order to do something good.

*In 2010, people are working more hours than they have ever worked for less money than the cost of living demands.

Let's not even mention the fact that you still can't marry anyone you love in this country. Canada legalized gay marriage in 2005. Why is this an issue? And don't say because the Bible says so. This isn't a Christa in country. Abortion has been legal since 1973, shut up about it. We aren't overturning Roe v. Wade. Forget about it. And let's not even talk about the fear in America. Here's an article from TIME Magazine about America's fear of outsiders: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1627019,00.html
What's the deal? What happened to the melting pot everyone keeps talking about?

According to the Huffington Post, America is still the richest country on earth. Well, our top 1% is anyway. However, we are not the the happiest country. Why is that? Here I was thinking that money buys happiness. No, it seems that Denmark, Finland, Norway, The Netherlands, Costa Rica, Canada, Switzerland, New Zealand, Sweden, Israel, Panama, Brazil and Australia all have something we're missing. As expected, the United States failed to make the top 10 but ranked among the highest for obesity and child poverty. Americans spend less than half the amount of time eating as the French, but have three times the obesity rate. “This tells us something about slow food, I think,” Simon Chappele, editor of the report said in an interview with NPR. The report also showed the United States has the lowest mean age for women when they first gave birth, at 25.1 years old.Also, the United States still ranks among the highest for child poverty rates, with one in five children living in poverty. This was only exceeded in Poland, Mexico and Turkey.

According to a 2005 editorial, published in the British Medical Journal and authored by Dr. Tony Delamothe, research done in Mexico, Ghana, Sweden, the U.S. and the U.K. shows that individuals typically get richer during their lifetimes, but not happier. It is family, social and community networks that bring joy to one's life, according to Delamothe. Low unemployment also contributes to happiness. "One thing we know for sure," says the OECD's Chapple, "not having a job makes one substantially less satisfied." Denmark's unemployment rate is just 2%, according the C.I.A.'s World Factbook. Norway's is just 2.6%. The Netherlands: just 4.5%. Many economists concur that a 4% unemployment rate reflects a stable economy. The U.S. unemployment rate is currently 9%.

In conclusion I would have to say that no, America is not The Greatest Country That Has Ever Existed On Earth. The richest country, yes. The most productive? Not any more. Yay outsourcing and complicated derivatives on Wall Street! Yet, I have hope that one day it won't be like this anymore. One day, the president will actually be able to do what he says he's going to do without having to make deals in Congress. One day we'll focus more on what is good and beneficial for everyone rather than how much taxes go up. One day we won't be able to buy a semi-automatic weapon from your local Walmart. One day we won't have oil spills that last an entire summer and destroy lives. One day Americans won't be looked at with disdain by the Iraqi people. One day America will live up to it's promises. I think it is easy to see that something is wrong here.

Does America Have A Problem?

So...I just read something very unsettling on Facebook. This person (who shall remain nameless) has recently stated their opinion of the whole mosque right on top of ground zero nonsense. They are, of course, entitled to their own opinion. However, when such opinions are not based on fact or maybe on a little of information, I think it's our duty as intelligent people to inform others. I didn't feel like having an irrational bitch-fight on Facebook at the present so I'll just make myself clear here (to the few of you who actually give a rat's tush what I think.)

First, let's recap:

PERSON 1: "Just got don't reading a article in TIME about Islamophobia. I think its ridiculous! In my opinion the Muslim faith needs to suck it up! I guess they now understand how Christians feel. I just think its pathetic that they want to build a Mosque around ground zero and that they are trying to receive sympathy..."

PERSON 2: "So you are saying that all Muslims are radical Muslims?? In that case all of us Christians are the crazy snake handling, tongue talking, poison drinking Christians."

PERSON 1: "haha i know that there are crazy christians out there, im sure there are some protesting right now blessing muslims out. My main point is that they are getting what they asked for, America was founded and based using the christian faith. Im... sure if we went over there and tried to build a baptist church they would NUT up on us. I just thinks its a little sketchy that we have people fighting a war against those people right now, some say that its a different belief, but I just think that we are fighting a war against them and they are wanting to build a Mosque on OUR turf where THEIR people bombed the WWC? thats just wrong"

Now.

First of all let me just say: I don't think this person is a total and complete idiot. Maybe someone just doesn't get out much or is (probably) brainwashed. That's not their fault. You know on that same note, murderers aren't born murderers either. Secondly, let's just go ahead and agree that I do not hate soldiers or America. I think soldiers are great and I LOVE a man in uniform. As for America, well I think she's pretty okay most of the time and I live here, so yeah. AND, I've totally seen the Statue of Liberty and I know all the words to the Pledge of Allegiance and the National Anthem.

Glad that's out of the way. For those of you who haven't read the article in TIME magazine about the "imaginary" Islamaphobia that America suffers from, here's the link: Does America Have a Muslim Problem?

On to business. So, the "Muslim faith just needs to suck it up," huh? What exactly do they need to suck up? Am I supposed to believe that in America, the beautiful--the radiant, we want an entire group of people to just be okay with having their rights as CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES infringed upon? They want to open a mosque people not a fucking nuclear training facility. In the article, somebody actually asked these people if they would have weapons in the mosque. Weapons. In their place of worship. Do you have an AK47 underneath your chair in Sunday School? No, you don't. Guess what, people. NOT ALL MUSLIMS ARE RADICAL REVOLUTIONARY AMERICA HATING CRIMINALS. I know it may come as a shock. Try to breathe.

I know what happened on September 11 nine years ago. I could give you a play by play of the entire day. Three of my uncles and my grandfather have all been in either the Marine Corps or the Navy. I'm totally pro-America. And I think the entire world is in agreement on the fact that 9/11/01 was tragic day. In case anyone forgot, 19 members of al-Qaeda hijacked those planes. Nineteen. Not the whole Muslim population of the world. In case you're wondering, there are about 2.4 billion Muslims around the world. And 19 of those 2.4 billion did a horrible thing. And yet we condemn the entire religion based on the actions of a few? Sure, there were more members of al-Qaeda and Osama and Saddam are real assholes but I hardly think the total amount of radical Muslims comes close to the total amount of Muslims on earth.

Also, let us think for a second about other atrocities committed by...OTHER religions. You know, violent religions like Islam.

Islamic Jihads: Jihad means holy war, meaning they kill in the name of god. Millions have died over 12 centuries, most of the very same religion.

Salem Witch Trials:Remember The Crucible? Totally true. Over 150 people were arrested and imprisoned, five of the accused died in prison, 29 people were convicted of "the capital felony of witchcraft", while a total of 19 people (14 women and 5 men) were hanged. One man was crushed to death because he refused to enter a plea. All in the name of the Puritan faith. You know, Christianity.

Spanish Inquisition:Ah, Ferdinand & Isabella. Those magnificent monarchs of Spain that decided to give old Columbus a chance, thus leading to the founding of this very country. What excellent people. Estimates of the death toll suspect between 3,000 and 5,000 executions of basically anyone who wasn't Catholic. Oh yeah, and the Pope signed the order.

Crusades:These were wars to restore Christian control in the Holy Land (AKA: The Middle East) that lasted over 200 years. Basically, Christians were pissed that various other religions occupied the Holy Land and they wanted it back. They fought: Muslims, Jews, Russian Orthodox Christians, Slavs, Mongols, Prussians, and anybody else who pissed off the Pope. Oh, and soldiers were given penance for past sins if they participate in these holy wars. Holy wars...is there another word for that?

Here's another interesting fact that I picked up from my copy of the Qur'an (found it at the Goodwill for a buck 25.): Translated from Arabic into English, Allah means God, Isa means Jesus, Yahya means John the Baptist, Nuh means Noah, and Yunus means Jonah. You mean to say that Islam believes in God and Jesus? Hell, they've even got Noah's Ark and Jonah and the whale! On the back of my copy it says: " Though its message is a continuation of that contained in the earlier Revelations made to Abraham, David, Moses, and Jesus, this message has a sense of fulfillment and originality that attracts Jews, Christians and Muslims alike. Indeed, the Qu'ran's miracle lies in its ability to offer at least something to nonbelievers and everything to believers." So...those who believe, great!, if you don't believe, also great! No trying to convert you immediately or threatening to kill you if you don't. Oh, and I scanned through the whole thing and nowhere did I find blueprints on how to murder babies or hijack an airplane. No worries.

I mean maybe we should count death tolls or something. How many deaths have Christians been responsible for? How many have Muslims been linked to? Twenty million people died in World War I and another ninety million died in World War II, 90% of those deaths can be attributed to countries who are predominately Christian. Perhaps it isn't totally fair to judge a religion as violent or not violent based on how many deaths that religion is responsible for, no?

Let's cut to the chase, though. This mosque thing is not about Islam and it isn't about Christianity. It's about pride. People are pissed and think every single Muslim is out to get them or something. On what grounds could anyone say no to the building of a community center, a religious one at that? These people are Americans. It isn't like a group of al-Qaeda terrorists moved to America and decided they should probably build a mosque a couple blocks from ground zero to piss off some people. No. These are American citizens who want to build a mosque in NYC so that people of their religion can come and pray. What is wrong with that? It is not disrespectful to the dead and it is not dangerous. You know, there were 2,669 Americans that died where the World Trade Center once stood. There were also 310 foreign nationals that died there. Over 100 of those foreign nationals were from a country where Islam was the predominant religion.

People are people. Black, White, Puerto Rican, Latino, Asian, Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Atheist, etc. We are all human beings. As such we will always destroy each other and we will always hate. Then again, we have compassion, and understanding, and love. As people we have the capacity for such great things if we could only get past preconceived notions and long-unimportant rivalries. Does it really matter what a person's religion is? Really? Does that tell you what kind of person they are? No. It's our actions that ultimately show our worth.

"It's better to help people than garden gnomes."

I have a problem with the fact that it's still technically summer and yet I have to start school. I mean, I know I'm not the only one who doesn't dig showing up to class totally soaked in my own sweat. It's just not attractive. Especially when you live below the gnat line and the heat index is basically a million.

I was supposed to be in Statesboro and unpacked and settled like two days ago. Instead, I chilled in the 706 a bit too long and now I'm currently located in my dad's fiance's son's bed watching Grease 2 on the TV Guide Channel. I'm reminded of how shitty this movie is. Except for that song that goes: Re-pro-duction, reproduction! That was funny. Oh yeah, this is def Michelle Pheiffer (sp?). She's catwoman.

Speaking of movies, I recently made a list of the good movies that I've seen this year. By good movies, I mean movies without a recycled plot and that I would very much want to own on DVD. That list is very slim. I won't share just yet-that's for another day-but let's just say this time last year the list also wasn't that impressive. It's probably because all the good movies come out between October-December. Screw summer blockbusters.

Also, I like Julia Roberts but I'm really worried that Eat, Pray, Love is going to suck. Despite all that delicious mens, food, and locations. I just wish that she would be in something like Pretty Woman again.

My contacts are very dry right now. They hurt. I want to travel again. I'm so over my brief little stay at home over the summer. Actually, I'd like to get really settled in Statesboro for a bit and then go somewhere. I'm pretty much set on the idea of California for next summer. Yeah. I need to finish reading One Day. And then I need to re-read The Hunger Games and Catching Fire before the new book comes out in a week. (Yay!)

I have too many posters and yet I wish I had more. What if I majored in linguistics? I was watching one of my new favorite movies: Amelie (Seriously, top ten if not top five, ever) and I decided that I should learn French. But, I'm already learning Spanish already so why not learn both? And why stop there? But alas, the inevitable question: "What will you do with that?"

Well, I don't know.

The Summer Thus Far

So, I'm at the beach. Which isn't a surprise because I don't think I've actually been home for longer than a week this whole summer. It almost feels like there hasn't been a summer at all.

I'm glad that I opted to take summer classes. I feel like I actually accomplished something worthwhile instead of sitting on my lazy ass. Plus, living with Taylor renewed my faith that men and women can coexist without killing each other. Texas was great because I really really love my aunt and uncle and I miss them when they aren't around. I'm also glad that we basically had a tour of Texas and I got to see it with people who I really enjoy. I decided that Courtney is a good traveller as long as she has Nyquil. Corny, I'm really glad you came. Also, I love Nanny. And Rachael and Ryan. I just wish those two would get along more. NYC was also fun but way more fast paced. I'm pretty sure I know exactly why it's the City that never sleeps bc I didn't either. Plus, I had to single handedly figure out how to work all the types of transportation so I get to chalk that up to life experience. I don't think I'll ever get tired of that city though. It's like a whole different world. One day, I hope I'm as savvy as those New Yorkers. Although, I will never ever like the Yankees. Ever.

My week home was a good one and a bad one. We had Colton's bday in the basement. Super fun. Except I was so busy being a mom all week that I had forgotten to eat anything since breakfast that day and well, let's just say all those Yager bombs were not a good idea. The night ended with me literally doing that thing that always happens in the movies. You know, hugging the toilet and puking my guts out and then laying there on the cool tile. I would also like to say: Colton, I love you so much. I truly don't know what I would do if I didn't have you in my life. And since I'm on the topic: Andrew, Chris, Mason, Trey, you boys are my favorite men ever. Andrew, if you don't take me to see the Phantom of the Opera I will kill you. We will have the best time ever. Chris, don't ever change. Sometimes we yell at you but it's only cause we know you love us even when we're all bitches. Mason, who else can I have a thirty minute conversation about Jango Fett with? You're one of a kind. And Trey, why aren't you around me more often? You always looks so happy to be around and you give the best hugs of anyone. I love you boys.

Alex's Bday partay with the girls made me really happy that I have such good girlfriends. I know I just sounded like some mom from the 90s, but really. Watching old movies and talking about boys and Cosmo while eating cake in our pajamas is truly the best therapy anyone could hope for. I'm so glad you assholes put up with me. Alex, please come around every day. You always seem to make the party that much better. The rest of you bitches can come too, I guess. Hey, where the hell is Jamie Dove? Why haven't I seen her in like three million years? As soon as we're all home again, I say another girl's night is in order.

I got in to another big brawl with my mom. I know everyone is tired of hearing about it so I'll keep this brief. Sometimes, she is so stupid and insecure that I wonder how she keeps up her act. I mean, to an outsider she's this super cool, self-sufficient, sometimes scary woman. But really all she is is a woman who is constantly unsure. I really hate to complain and I feel bad about it but I just need to say it, you know? I don't want to be the mom all the time. I won't you to actually plan something ahead of time and be prepared. I had to do everything in NYC. Whether it be studying maps and subway stations or leaving in the middle of the night to drive around New Jersey looking for breakfast for in the morning. And when I'm home all I do is carry the kids everywhere and wash the dishes and do laundry and make sure Rachael has sunscreen for softball practice and that Ryan has checked his blood sugar. I don't mind it because I've always done it. But sometimes it's just annoying that you go to work and come immediately home and lock yourself in your room all day. And you act like it's some burden for you to have to go to anyone's games or to get your freaking taxes done so I can fill out the mother fucking FAFSA again so maybe you won't have to give any effing money. Cause heaven forbid you have to spend money. I mean if it's such a big damn deal why are you taking us to NYC and talking about going to Disney/Harry Potter world this summer? And don't even get me started about Daddy and Tamra. Sometimes, I don't think I love my mom the way I should. I love her, there's no doubt. But I don't think it's the kind of love and respect a kid is supposed to have for their mom and that worries me. One of my biggest fears is that one day I'll be that kind of mother to my kids. Or that I'll be alone for the rest of my life because of the way my mom thinks about love and romance and happily ever after. But then, and I quote: "You have this fucked up little way of thinking, Bekah. You put everyone and every situation into these neat littel boxes in your head. Everything isn't like a book or like some romantic image you made up in your head. Sometimes people just fucking suck. So, fuck you." So maybe there's a chance for me after all.

I moved into my new apartment too. Which is a major step up. Whenever we were cleaning the old ones all the fleas from Kimbo's room bit me. I've literally got bites all over my ankles. I'll be more excited later but the whole event was a pain in my ass.

And now I'm at the beach. All I'm gonna do is eat good food and lay around and tan and sleep. I brought tons of books and Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Return of the King. Oh, and there's a movie theatre a couple blocks down. I WILL SEE INCEPTION. Here's hoping it blows my mind.

Oh, and here's a treat for you loyal followers:

Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 & Pt. 2

Here’s what you missed on The Twilight Saga… Ordinary girl, Bella moves to rainy Forks, Washington. There she makes friends. By friends I mean people she sometimes pretends to listen to while going to school sometimes. Then, she sees THE CULLENS. They are all attractive. Especially Edward who stares at her weirdly and acts like a total dick. Also, he stalks her and saves her life. Which means he’s every girl’s perfect guy that will never ever exist: He’s hot, he’s sensitive, he knows pop culture! He doesn’t have assy friends and all he wants to do is hang out with Bella and kick people’s asses! So, they fall in love.

Until he becomes whiny and self-“sacrificing” and runs away to like, Africa or some shit. Bella is depressed. Bella befriends Jacob and does dangerous things. Jacob falls in love with her, of course. She kind of likes him too cause he’s cute and boyishly charming. And he’s a super badass werewolf of course. Bella doesn’t know what to do. So, she jumps off a cliff. Then Edward tries to kill himself cause he doesn’t want to live without her. Swoon! Bella saves him. The Volturi are pissed and Michael Sheen is there! Tony Blair, when did you become a vampire? Tony says they have to turn Bella or else, they roll out, Jacob and Edward hate each other and almost fight. Then Edward asks Bella to marry him.

Bella and Edward are back together because Bella totally forgot that he ditched her a few months ago. Jacob is super pissed cause Edward came back and got the girl. Jacob starts being inappropriate and tries to get with Bella. Edward is pissed. Then, the ginger starts making an army of vampires and everyone is apparently terrified of like, 14 new vampires. I mean, really. So then Jacob kisses Bella a couple times but she really loves Edward and they decide to get married and where is Anna Kendrick? Oh, and they kill those vampires and Dakota Fanning shows up and is terrifying.

NOW… BREAKING DAWN PART UNO:

Bella and Edward get married. Jacob is pissed. Bella and Edward have sex and DON’T USE PROTECTION. Wow. Jacob is pissed. Bella has a baby. Jacob is pissed. Then Bella dies and Edward bites her to make her a vampire.

BREAKING DAWN PART DOS:

Bella and Edward break up because Bella is a badass super vamp that goes around forks killing people who suck (Mike Newton, etc.) and turning awesome people into vampires (Anna Kendrick!). Then, her and Anna Kendrick, and the wolves team up with DFanning and kill all the Cullens who suck(Emmett, Esme). Bella’s super baby named Sydney Bristow ages until she’s like 19 (and is played by a young Jennifer Garner) and her and Jacob are in mad love. Edward is whiny and sad that Bella is not a stupid sparkly vampire and is actually interesting. Then: Michael Sheen shows up and is like: “Edward we’ve gotta stop this crazy bitch before she has more power than me!” Edward is like: “The woman I love is gone, okay Tony Blair.” So then the rest of the Volturi and Edward show up to this big field and they’re on one side and Bella, Akendrick, Dfanning, the wolves, and other various cool people who are now vampires (Meryl Streep, James Franco, Natalie Portman, and Hugh Jackman) are on the other side of the field. Michael Sheen gives an inspirational speech to his men: “Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take... OUR FREEDOM!” in a Scottish accent. His team is super pumped, needless to say. Then, Bella, on a horse because they ride horses, gives this speech to her team: “Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!” and then her team is super pumped, too. The tension is palpable by this point and right before Keira Knightley, who’s in the middle of the field, yells: CHARGE!, the cast of Glee shows up with Lady Gaga and Elton John on two pianos and sings: “We Will Rock You”. When they finish, Keira yells charge and the battle commences. There is great bloodshed. Edward and Bella face off and right when they’re about to kill each other, they realize how much they love each other and have an epic, bloody kiss in the middle of the battlefield. Then, Michael Sheen shows up and tries to kill Bella and Edward but Dakota Fanning steps in front of the sword and saves their lives. As she lies dying in Bella’s arms she says: “Remember who you are” and all of a sudden Bella is no longer evil and neither is all of her team! The whole time they’ve been under a spell of an evil sorceress played by… CATE BLANCHETT! Everyone stops fighting and looks up into the sky as the glowing Cate Blanchett descends from the sky to smite everyone down with her godly might! She opens a portal to hell and the whole world starts becoming inhabited by horrors the likes of which they’ve never seen! Anna Kendrick, seeing that someone of great potential must sacrifice themselves to close the portal, looks around at her fellow cast members and sees that she’s obviously the best actor of anyone in The Twilight Saga and realizes it must be her to die. Before she does though, she turns to Michelle Trachtenberg (who’s her little sister we just didn’t know it and also a vampire) and says: “Dawn, listen to me, listen. I love you. I will always love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles… tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I’m okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world… is to live in it. Be brave. Live… for me.” Then Anna Kendrick jumps into the swirling orb of light and everything goes back to normal. Everyone who was injured is okay now and all the terrible things disappear. Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones show up and make everyone forget about the horrors they’ve seen. No one is a vampire anymore and every lives happily ever after.
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! After the credits we see Anna Kendrick’s grave. Bella, Edward, Jacob, Sydney, and everyone who survived the battle are talking after walking away from the grave. They all say what a wonderful person she was and how they wished they would have given her more screen time. As they walk away, we see Kate Winslet dressed in rags with big messy hair. She’s standing near the grave saying something that we can’t hear. She turns and winks at the screen and disappears. We zoom in to Anna’s grave and just before the screen cuts to black (as “Don’t Stop Believing” is playing in the background) we see a hand emerge from the grave.

THE END.

"This burrito is good but it is filling."

Hey, I just realized this is my 50th post. Wow. First, I'd like to thank my loyal followers on Blogspot. Without fans, I'd be truly dead. I'd like to thank my parents, Jayne and Scott, for always being there for me even when I was a pain in the ass. My wonderful siblings, Rachael and Ryan, for being super cute and awesome to me, for the most part. Nanny, the Nanster, I love you. Every single one of my amazing friends, thank you for supporting me. Also, shout out to the TV, Movie, and Book Gods without whom I would have little to no material of which to praise/bitch about. Oh, and I'd like to thank God, Allah, Buddha, Rama, Confucious, and of course Yahweh. Mostly, I'm not sure what I'm doing and without everyone I just mentioned, I wouldn't be here today. Thank you.

Now, on to business. How much does everyone love the new blogger designs? I feel like just last week I was getting frustrated with everything and now we've got amazing new designs. Love it.

This month is going to be the most busy month of my life, people. As we are speaking I have an article summary and an annotated bibliography due in...eight hours. I've got a lovely Econ test in about...two hours, and the FIFA World Cup starts tonight. Plus, this Sunday apparently there was a huge scheduling conflict because somebody decided to put the Tony Awards and True Blood on the same night. For shame. Then Monday I have my giant research paper (on the different ways Charles Dickens portrays women in his novels compared to the main woman in The Mystery of Edwin Drood, Rosa Bud) due at 4:00. Tuesday my last two Economics problem sets are due and then Thursday I have my two finals. Which means I'll be getting home around 10:00pm. But hey, then I'LL BE DONE WITH SUMMER SCHOOL.

I'm going to get a brief day of rest on the 18th so I better get to see all of you people. I told Callie and Courtney to round you all up and I better not hear any excuses because this is a week in advance notice, guys. You know you love me.

June 19 @ 5:00pm Rachael, Ryan, Nanny, Courtney, and I are leaving to go to TEXAS. I love Texas. Everything is bigger there and I do mean everything. We'll relax by the pool, eat Mexican food, drive to the Alamo, shop, drive to the Houston Space Center, have some margaritas, maybe do a little horseback riding, etc. I am excited. I love road trips, and TX, and my lovely aunt and uncle that live there. What an adventure.

We'll back the 24-25 I can't remember and then almost immediately, on June 28, I'll be going to the Big Apple. That's right folks, New York City. Obviously she has missed me in the three years I've been gone. This time, I'm doing it right. I'm talking Broadway, the Met, Lady Liberty, pizza, hotdogs, cheesecake, etc. I'm going to fit as much as possible into the week I'll be there. Here lies the question: Promises, Promises or Fences? Red or La Cage aux Folles? Avenue Q, South Pacific, West Side Story? How does a girl decide?

I love travelling. Love it. I'll be sure to send some postcards to some of you dolls. I've got my address book handy and a brand spankin' new book of stamps.

xoxo

PS- 10 friend points to the first person who knows where the headline quote is from. Ready, go!

"Yes, you should move to Israel."

I'm beginning to think that Glee is taking over my life. Last night's episode "Funk" was not the best episode in the world, but it had some good moments. Although as a rule, I think Mr. Schuester should never try to seduce anyone again. It is very uncomfortable for me.

To the point, Glee is seeping into my dreams. I didn't even go to bed directly after Glee last night, because I had to stay up for Chelsea Lately of course, and I still had very Glee-like dreams/nightmares.

First, I was super pregnant and still in high school. This could also have to do with the fact that I watched Juno this weekend. Regardless, I was really hella preggers. It was awful. I literally dreamed that I gave birth. Eww. The baby was super cute, though. I wanted to name her Olive but Callie wouldn't let me because she said that was not good and I should name it something generic so it wouldn't mess up her monograms. Then we went to Olive Garden.

Next, I dreamed that Anna-Marie and I were in a very large chicken coop and we were pissed at each other. Apparently, AMH thought I did something to her paint which made all of her paintings disintegrate. So, we were battling it out in a chicken coop by throwing eggs at each other. Lots of eggs. And I'm scared of chickens so AMH is pretty much beating my ass cause I'm trying to avoid the chickens. And then I turn around and Big Bird is there and he cracks the biggest of the eggs directly on my forehead. I kid you not.

Then, as if that weren't enough, I dreamed that Jamie was dating Mr. Schuester and Courtney didn't like him because of the way he dances. And then Mr. Schue tried to seduce Courtney and Jamie found out and then they were in the chicken coop too. Except I wasn't there anymore, apparently this chicken coop has stands to sit in, so I was there with a big towel because I'm covered in egg. Anna-Marie is there and she's got a giant trophy for beating me in the coop, Callie is holding Olive but shaking her head in disapproval at the baby's monogram less bib, and Mr. Schuester is in a Cheerios uniform cheering for Jamie and Courtney.

Luckily, my alarm went off playing Total Eclipse of the Heart and I got out of this terrible nightmare before the chickens attacked.

Working For The Weekend

Today, instead of doing my normal every-day thing of sitting around doing nothing, I decided to go with my Nanny and her Sunday School group on a field trip. I know. The thing is though, I adore old people. Just love them. They know so much about everything. I mean, they don't know how to text or how to work the Internet mostly but they can tell you the exact feelings they felt when they heard that JFK was assassinated. Or the joy of the first time they travelled alone, and the feel of the air in Israel. That's the kind of stuff that people just take for granted, you know. In school teachers always say "You might have grandparents old enough to remember" this or that and the fact is we do. We just don't take the time to ask. Any textbook can tell you what happened at any point and time in history, but sooner or later there won't be anyone around to tell us how it felt.

Anyway, back to the field trip. We went to this place called Vidalia, GA, famous for the Vidalia Sweet Onions. The whole point was to see this farm and how they grew and processed and sold onions. Whatever. I mean, it's mildly interesting but not really. What is really interesting to me is the people who work there.

First of all they are all foreign immigrants from Mexico. The family that owns the particular farm we toured is part of a national program that I forgot the name of. In the program, the family or farm that is hiring these people actually pays for their visas (something you need to immigrate, duh) to come to America. Now, these visas actually expire after the summer is over because that's when the harvesting is done. Anyway, the visas are paid for and the workers are picked up by buses and brought to the farm they are to work on. They're given dormitories that are actually on the farm, that are fully stocked with food and clothes and TV and all that jazz. They wake up in the morning and they work all day, pretty much six days a week. They get paid minimum wage, which is $7.25 at the moment. They are free to do whatever they want on their day off AND THEY DO PAY TAXES. They don't pay Social Security obviously, because they aren't eligible to receive Social Security. But once again, let me just say, they do in fact pay taxes.

Another thing you may not know is that farms that are part of this federal plan have to actually hire absolutely anyone who shows up to the farm and asks for a job. And that is fact, my friends. Anyone. The owner of the farm told me that if I showed up that day, having been a convicted murderer who was out on bail, she would have to hire me. No lie. Obviously, there's like a two day grace period where I have to prove that I can do the job but other than that, it's that simple. Just so you know, while I was there, I saw absolutely no full American citizens working that weren't a part of the immediate family. Obviously, these people are stealing "American jobs", right? Yeah. I'll tell you something, the whole time we were there these people were working non stop in the heat, no complaints, no breaks unless it was for a sip of water. Just the hardest working people, ever. The owner sang their praises about how they work so consistently and are so hardworking and dedicated. I mean, maybe if "Americans" had some good ole fashioned "American work ethic" we could get some crap accomplished. I mean really. And they were just the nicest people. Didn't speak a lick of English but they were so nice and happy to have such a wonderful atmosphere.

I think it is a real testament to the Mexican people as a whole that they want so desperately to improve their conditions that they will go so far as to move to another country for an entire summer (sometimes longer, because they can relocate to farms that grow crops that are harvested at different times) and do work that, let's face it, most Americans would cringe at for minimum wage and be perfectly content with that. It's inspirational is what it is. Americans should take a page out of their book if you ask me.

("Working for the Weekend" by Lover Boy)

Love You 'till the End

I'm sorry for those of you who don't care, but I had to say something about the tragedy that was last night's episode of LOST, "The Candidate".

Oh. Dear. God.

First of all, let me just say, there are a good many times in my life that I've been emotionally moved by a film, a certain episode of a TV show, a song, a work of art, a book, etc. I should probably make a list or at least a blog including some of them. Yeah, that's a good idea. Note to self. Anyways, there was a scene in "The Candidate" that was one of those times.

Even if you aren't a LOST fan, this scene is worth a watch. For those of you that mourn the loss of Jin, Sun, and Sayid (maybe Frank) like you mourn the loss of an old friend, I'm sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zl12dAn5gnY

So, that son of a bitch Smokey (who I KNEW was evil all along) stashed a bomb in his backpack then switched backpacks with Jack right before all the Losties got on the Sub. Kate gets shot and everyone scrambles to roll out. Whenever they've got the Sub diving, Jack reaches for his bag for maybe some doctor stuff to help Kate out. Alas, he finds the bomb. Sayid (Mr. Republican Guard Bomb Specialist) says the only way to disarm it is to pull out the two wires at the same time. Jack says "No. Smokey can't kill us, he's trying to get us to kill ourselves by blowing up." Sawyer is like "Screw you, asshole. I've never ever liked you, we both love(d) the same girl, and you most def killed Juliet." So then Sawyer pulls out the wires, the bomb starts ticking faster, Sayid tells Jack about Desmond being alive and then he dashes as far away as possible with the bomb to give our friends a better chance at survival. I love you, Sayid. I'm really sorry that nothing in your life ever worked out.

So, bomb goes off. Frank gets hit by a latch door (dead?). Sub is filling up with water. Hurley wants to go after Sayid but Jack is like "There is no Sayid!" so Hurley goes off with Kate and an oxygen tank. Sun is stuck behind some sub stuff. Sawyer, Jin, and Jack manage to get the sub (refrigerator?) off of Sun. For a split second, I was sure it was going to be okay. Then: Sun is still stuck by some pipes or something. NOOOOOO!!! Sawyer gets knocked out. Jack gets him, starts heading to the oxygen tanks. Sun begs Jin to leave. Jin tells Jack to go, save Sawyer. Jack tries to give Jin the last oxygen tank: "Take this, I can get him out without it." Jin: "No. You can't, Jack."

The look in Jin's eyes when he tells Jack to go, it's like they have an understanding. Man to man. And Sun sees it, too. Without saying any words, it's like they're saying goodbye to their leader. He couldn't save everyone, after all.

Jin begins fighting against the pipes with a new determination. He is resolved to fight to his last breath. Sun, however, knows it is the end. You can see it in her eyes.

Sun: "Jin. You have to go."
Jin: "No. I can do this."
Sun: "No, no you can't. Please, go." (Sobbing)
Then Jin grabs her face with this determined fierceness.
Jin: "I won't leave you."
And he's fighting, and we all know it's no use. And we're crying with Sun because she knows too.
Jin: "I'm gonna get you out of here."
Sun: "No...go...go...please, go."
And then Jin looks at the door. For one second he thinks about leaving, if only so that their daughter Ji Yeon doesn't grow up without her parents. For that one second he contemplates his fateful choice: Give up the love of his life? or Leave his child parent less?
He turns back to Sun and even before the words leave his mouth, you know he'll never leave her.
Jin: (in Korean) "I won't leave you. I will never leave you again." (in English): "I love you, Sun."
And then they're both crying and they kiss. A kiss of promise, of goodbye, of forever. And we can see her wedding ring that she once lost in the episode that we see their first meeting in flashbacks.
Sun: "I love you."
And they kiss, and the water rises, and they look in to each other's eyes. They don't regret their choices. They don't regret their struggles. They are together and that's all that matters.

The sub sinks and so does our hearts. Just when we think it can't hurt anymore, we see the image of their clasped hands, together in death, slowly slip away from each other. It is the end of Sun and Jin and the tears fall even harder. As far as deaths go, that was pretty freaking tragic. I literally cry every time I think about it. And if that wasn't enough, we then see Hurley completely lose it and start to sob, Kate is crying in the sand, and Jack is in tears and rage because he couldn't save them. Oh, we mourn too guys.

In the beginning, Jin and Sun were very flawed. Jin icily tells her to button up her blouse over and over again and doesn't let her talk to other men. Sun resents her husband for treating her like property, you can see the fire in her eyes even then. Through flashbacks we see that they fell in love when they weren't supposed to, she the daughter of a rich businessman/mobster, he a poor son of a fisherman. But they love each other, and that's enough. He asks her father for her hand and Mr. Paik offers him a "job". For years Jin acts as his father-in-law's hit man in order to stay with Sun. His job makes him almost frightening to Sun, more demanding. She's unhappy and strays into the man's arms who she was originally supposed to marry. He teachers her English, her father finds out and has Jin kill him, Jin doesn't go through with it (he doesn't know the guy's been sleeping with his wife) but he dies anyway. Sun prepares to leave her husband in Sydney before their flight back to LAX. However, just when she's supposed to make the decision to leave, she sees Jin with a flower and she realizes that she loves him, still. The plane crashes, they stay away from everyone at first, Jin is seen as hostile towards others and his wife. She reveals that she speaks English, Jin is pissed. He prepares to leave the island on the raft (that everyone knew wouldn't work), they reconcile somewhat before he leaves, the raft is ambushed, Jin ends up lost in the jungle. Eventually he finds his way back to her and their reunion is so sweet. They're in love, you see. They're happy and they get it on and we finally see Jin's sexy chest. Then Juliet tells Sun she's pregnant, they go to medical hatch to see who the daddy is (since Sun was cheating), Jin's the proud papa but it turns out Sun will die in childbirth since she got pregnant on the island. Jin is super happy until Juliet tells him that Sun slept with someone else (she was trying to stop Sun from staying on the island, she wanted her to get off and not die), Jin is pissed but realizes it was partly his fault for being such a jackass (what a man). Jin resolves to get Sun off the island and but gets himself on a freighter that blows up. Jin isn't dead as Sun thinks he is. She is hella angry and becomes Badass Sun and spends three years off the island trying to kill Ben because she blames him for Jin's death. Ben tells her Jin isn't dead and shows her Jin's wedding band. She then spends like, two freaking seasons getting back to the island and trying to get in the same effing time period as him. Then, FINALLY, last freaking week, they are reunited. Everyone smiles and is happy for like two seconds and then everything goes to hell in a hand basket. Jin sees his daughter for the first time on a roll of film, he finds out Ji Yeon is with Grandma Paik, and they both end up on the doomed sub of death.

AFTER ALL OF THAT, they die. As heart wrenching as it was, I have to say, their death was beautiful. Sun spent years thinking he was dead and raising their kid alone only to find out he wasn't dead in the first place. Jin spent three years alone on the island having never seen his daughter. They both frantically searched for one another for a whole freaking season. In the beginning, he was the worst kind of husband: pushy, rude, misogynistic. She was the oppressed housewife who couldn't stand up for herself. By all logic, they never should have been together in the first place. Yet, as fate would have it, they found each other. Against all odds, they loved each other, even when they couldn't stand each other. In the end, the only thing that mattered was that they were finally together. He would never leave her again. They never spoke of Ji Yeon but you could feel her presence and I think Jin did right by her. Instead of leaving his heart to die, he stayed and left his daughter a story she can be proud of. If she were to ever hear the story, she would know how much love her parents had for each other. And in the end, love was enough for them.

RIP Sun, Jin, and Sayid.

("Love You 'till the End" , The Pogues)

I Dreamed a Dream

"None of us are innocent."

Today, I was telling my Dad about all of the places I'm going to travel before I die. I was so excited in my storytelling that I didn't notice until later that he was laughing at me. Apparently, it is unacceptable for me to assume I'll be able to travel everywhere that I would like to. I, of course, was not amused with his "logic" and told him that his thinking was not supportive and that I would not be sending him any postcards from any of the places I had mentioned unless he changed his attitude between now and then.

For the record: I, Rebekah Jayne Andrews, being of sound mind and body, do hereby proclaim that I will travel everywhere that I've ever wanted to travel before I perish. So, there.

Later on in the day, I was reading my new book: Screenplay: The Foundations of Screenwriting when my Dad walks in and asks me if I really spent money on such a book. Now, this book was written by Syd Field so I know it was legit. So, I say to my Dad, "How do you think I'm going to win an Oscar if I don't do the proper research?" To which, of course, he bursts out laughing.

I don't understand what is so funny about all of this. If I want to go see the freaking Great Wall of China or ride the blasted Chunnel, well then I will. And if I decide that I want to write a movie better than the poop Hollywood has been spewing out for years, then I will. If I decide for some ungodly reason that I want to become President, I'll be the freaking President! I wouldn't want to do that though because I'm a woman and I can't afford to age ten years in a week. No, thanks.

Attitudes like this are what is wrong with everyone. People think that it's ridiculous to dream, anymore! What the heck is up with that? Do these people not watch Disney movies? For crying out loud, what is the world coming to?

Yeah, I get the fact that it pretty much sucks pretty much everywhere. Every Saturday in South Africa, the whole country closes down because everyone is attending funerals all day of people who have died from AIDS. Mexican immigrants can't dare to hope for a better life because people in Arizona are going all Rambo on anyone who wants to come to America and do the jobs that our spoiled asses don't want to do. Pretty much, if you're a country that produces oil, you're S.O.L. And don't even get me started on all the shit India puts up with.

Maybe if everyone dreamed a little more or dared to hope and believe that one day good things would happen, maybe one day they actually would. If we all cared a little bit more about things like love, and hope, and honor, and doing the right thing, and friendship, and selflessness, and PEOPLE... well, maybe things wouldn't suck so bad.

So yeah, my spoiled American ass is daring to dream about travelling the world and writing a kickass screenplay and a world where the people in power give a crap about the little guy. Call it stupidity, call it naivety, call it whatever you want. But whenever it comes time for me to find a date for the Oscars, well let's just say I won't be choosing any naysayers or people who told me that I was "ridiculous". Your choice, bitches.

"My task . . . is to make you hear, to make you feel-- and, above all, to make you see. That is all, and it is everything." - Joseph Conrad

("I Dreamed a Dream", Les Miserables. Original Cast, not Susan Boyle. As much as I love Susan, there's more umph in the original.)