the archetype of Xander Harris

I have always known that I hated Xander Harris. I have loathed him from the very first episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Recently, however, I have come to the conclusion that it is not Xander Harris whom I hate. Don't get me wrong, I DEFINATELY hate Xander. But more importantly, I really hate his entire archetype. I hate every single Xander Harris in all the world. Not quite sure what qualifies you to be a Xander? Let's clear it up.

First, you must be absolutely useless. Not in the sense that you're a human vegetable, but in the sense that you are alive and simply have no use amongst the people whom surround you. Xander, for instance, chooses to surround himself with people who are significantly more talented and useful in a million different ways whilst he remains, essentially useless. Now, if Xander chose instead to live amongst his own kind, i.e. other losers, he wouldn't be a problem. Birds of a feather, and all that.

Secondly, you must be profoundly stupid. I don't mean that you don't understand brain surgery or complex math. I'm talking common sense wise. Xander doesn't understand anything. He constantly screws up even when people give him exact, step-by-step instructions. It's almost like he is unable to make an actual real-life good decision. He messes every situation up, yet doesn't mean to. I know, its very difficult for intelligent people to understand.

Finally, you must have unrealistic expectations for yourself. Some would call this ambition. I think its only ambition when the goal is could actually someday be in reach. Constantly setting unrealistic goals for yourself is dumb. Like Xander. Xander seems to think that he's just as capable at saving the world, or getting the (unattainable) girl as just about anyone. But he's not. He will never amount to anything like his friends.

So you see, the archetype of Xander Harris is, in fact, an archetype found often in television, movies, books, and other forms of entertainment. Xander Harris is George O'Malley. He is Jimmy Olsen. He is Mouth, C3PO, and Duckie. He is Merry and Pippin, and that movie that no one went to see. He will never get the girl. He will never be Superman. He will never overwhelm the box office, nor will he go with Frodo to Mount Doom. And he will never, ever, save the world.

If you ask me, its about time the Xanders of the world wise up.