"So, why did you leave Iowa?"

Spotted: Bekah Andrews once again procrastinating to the max. Should I be worried by the fact that I give such little thought to my school work? Probably. Am I? Negative.

What is currently occupying my thoughts are a number of things that are proving to be...troublesome.

1. I have not seen Black Swan yet. Granted, I did see 127 Hours because of this and it was AMAZING. I am still pissed. Luckily, with some heavy sleuthing I have discovered that the movie that will no doubt become one of my favorites ever will be playing in ATL at the AMC Phipps Theatre by no later than December 10th. I know. I'm excited too.

2. I feel that I am being very indecisive about a number of things. Like when you're a senior in high school and you can't decide what color your prom dress will be, who will be your date, will Steven be there, should you get drunk after, what if your bff's mom finds out, etc. Decisions need to be made or they pile up until you make a bunch of bad ones.

3. There are not enough hours in the day.

4. It is sooooooooo cold in my apartment that I haven't had a good, deep slumber in days. Thank God I went to Atlanta this past weekend because Colton's apartment was warm. If I had been forced to stay in this hellhole all weekend AND it was freezing there is no telling what I would have done.

5. I am thisclose to having my Christmas presents finished and wrapped. Some people are just so damn difficult to buy for, ya know? It bothers me that I have half a present sitting here, not finished, unwrapped and in my way.

6. I can't illegally download music in my apartment. Why? I don't know. I was going to do it at Colton's buy somebody didn't know the wifi password. Now I must go on campus. To the library of all things. I guess then I'll be forced to study a bit before my Anthropology final.

7. Tomorrow...or later today actually...I have many things to do. Two finals. And I need to sell my books and buy scantrons and run an errand for my aunt and go talk to some lady at some gym about giving me a job. Yes. The dreaded J. O. B. I am such a hypocrite. I swore never to get one of those until after I was fully educated. Damn. I also need to do some laundry and clean my apartment so that it isn't totally filthy for a month while I'm gone. Why haven't I done this things already you ask? Well, I'm a procrastinator.

8. Wednesday I'm going to have to transport myself, my cat, and my dog back to Commerce. This is going to be tricky. It's a three hour drive. Last time I had to pull over twice because Leia got sick because someone who shall remain nameless fed her before the drive. Mom. I just know the two of them are going to drive me batshit crazy and not let me enjoy the soothing sounds of Patsy Cline like I want to. Oh well, it has to be done.

And then I will be home free. HOME FREE. I can't wait to do nothing for a month. Actually, I'll be doing many things. Like watching all of the movies and tv shows I have lined up. Also, there are several books and graphic novels in a stack by my bed just waiting to be read. Then there's Rachael's bday party and The Nutcracker and Disney World and HARRY POTTER LAND and NEW YORK CITY.

"Because I looked around and realized I didn't want anyone's life."

In the past week I have seen five movies at the theatre. Tangled (again), Love & Other Drugs, The Warrior's Way, Burlesque, and 127 Hours. This weekend I will watch both Narnia and The Tourist and Black Swan ASAP. I have an addiction. I realize this.

-Tangled (A-), WAY better than the Princess and the Frog. Not better than WallE. Still, I loved the story and the music and the old school Disney of it all.
-Love & Other Drugs (C), Anne and Jake are pretty and incredibly fun to watch together. However, I'm still not sure what the movie was trying to tell me. It seemed like it was going in a new direction and then we ended up like every other RomCom.
-The Warrior's Way (C), Ninjas. Cowboys. Carnival Folk. I don't know what it all means. I do love Geoffrey Rush anytime he's onscreen. I also love cute Asian babies and Kate Bosworth's two different eyes. What I don't love is bad movies.
-Burlesque (B+), I'm ashamed that I loved this movie. It was cliche and kinda cheesy. Sooooooo predictable. I rolled my eyes several times. But the cast and the camp just got me and yes, I did download the soundtrack.
-127 Hours (A+), James Franco (A++), he would have my vote for Best Actor if I got a vote. Everyone needs to see this movie. It was one of those that made me feel different as I was walking out of the theatre. And I'm still thinking about it days later.

I am running low on M&Ms and Ginger Ale. My contacts are sticking to my eyeballs. My room is a disaster area. My kitchen is empty. It is cold.

I think I'll study for my exams now.

"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have."

I want to go ahead and express how deeply unsatisfied I am with the coming week. It always seems to be like this the week before the holidays. And not only that, but Thursday when I make my long trek home I'll be coming home for the holidays AND for HARRY POTTER. Really, I hope my professors don't expect much out of this week. I know they're going to though. I have a final project due Wednesday that I haven't yet started on. Whatever.

Can we talk briefly about Harry Potter? Would that be too annoying? I feel like it's all I ever talk about here recently. Personally, I think it's understandable. I mean, this is the beginning of the end of a huge piece of my life. I know that sounds sad but I grew up reading Harry Potter and then watching the movies--at times talking about everything that was wrong about them but I digress. I seriously feel like Harry Potter has always been there. Like Disney movies, you know? You can always count on there being another one in a few years. When the last book came out, obviously I had been to the midnight release (as I had for several other HP book releases) and I read the thing through without sleeping. I remember being so tired at one point that I had to literally slap my face to stay awake. I went through so many Kleenex that by the time I finished I was emotionally exhausted. I felt like it had happened to me. Even then, I was so sad that there wouldn't be another Potter book. But I had something to cheer me up: at least there was a few more movies left to watch. Well, not anymore. Now there's just two.

Obviously, I'll be okay when it's all over. Eventually. But, the thing about saying goodbye to something you really love is that it never fully goes away. When you're turning those final pages of a book--or series rather--it's almost as if this overwhelming feeling of dread sneaks up on you. Like, maybe if I read a little slower this feeling will last a little longer. It's like the last few months of high school when you're trying to come to terms with the fact that you'll never be the same. They call it "The End" for a reason. Maybe you have to be an old softy and geek at heart to truly understand, I don't know. But sometimes it's almost painful to let go. All of that anticipation waiting to FINALLY see what happens turns immediately to something completely different upon reaching the end. I guess that's how it has to be though. Stories need endings and people need closure. You can't really have one without the other.

For me, watching these last two Harry Potter movies is just prolonging the inevitable. I knew way back in 2007 how badly I wanted the story to continue forever. Closing the book on your own childhood is never an easy thing. One of the hardest things in life is growing up and realizing that there is no Hogwarts, there is no Santa Clause, and those characters at Disney World are actually really hot and irritated people. You learn that things don't always turn out the way you think they should and people, well they'll constantly disappoint you. Parents are people who are just as fucked up as you are and everyone makes mistakes. Your friends will let you down and you'll have your heart broken more times than you'd like. Even still, "We'll always have Paris" as they say. We'll always be able to look back fondly on our childhood favorites and maybe feel a tiny glimmer of what we felt the first time.

As for the story of Harry Potter, I'd like to quote Mr. Stephen King: "No ending can be right, because it shouldn't be over at all. The magic is not supposed to go away.

Rowling will almost certainly go on to other works, and they may be terrific, but it won't be quite the same, and I'm sure she knows that. Readers will be able to go back and reread the existing books — as I've gone back to Tolkien, as my wife goes back to Patrick O'Brian's wonderful sea stories featuring Captain Aubrey and Dr. Maturin, as others do with novels featuring Travis McGee or Lord Peter Wimsey — and rereading is a great pleasure, but it's not the bated-breath, what's-gonna-happen-next suspense that Potter readers have enjoyed since 1997. And, of course, Harry's audience is different. It is, in large part, made up of children who will be experiencing these unique and rather terrible feelings for the first time.

But there's comfort. There are always more good stories, and now and then there are great stories. They come along if you wait for them."

And what exactly is wrong with being a big super geek in the first place? You know what, I'll watch my movies in Swedish and I'll read my freaking comic books and I'll quote Star Wars and Harry Potter until the day I die. So, there.

i solemnly swear i'm up to no good.

It is cold. I'm in South Georgia and it is cold. What's the deal? Literally, I'm bundled up in sweatpants, a hoodie, and three blankets and I still can't feel my toes. This is unusual.

This week I neglected to a lot of things. I didn't go to class that much which isn't terrible but it isn't good either. I need to take two make-up quizzes and give my Spanish professor a doctor's excuse for missing an oral exam yesterday. If I wasn't dying a horrible death I would have totally been there. I already had my speech written and everything. It was about the time I went to Disney World with my whole family and left my most favoritest Pokemon keychain in the hotel room. I cried the whole way home.

Speaking of Disney World, it's that time again. The Holidays. Seriously, I can't wait until the wonderful day of November 18th. That is the day The Holidays officially start if you ask this girl. It is also the day Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows comes out. I've been obsessing for the past two weeks and will continue obsessing for the rest of the month I imagine. Omg. Bailey and I are rewatching all the movies and I realised recently that I haven't seen the first one in ages and yet I still quote the damn thing like my 11 year old self. Mostly, I wish I was Hermione. One time, someone told me that I reminded them of Hermione and I literally almost peed my pants. It was possibly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Another time someone told me that I reminded them of Juno and that was pretty awesome too. Obviously, I'm destined to dress up as Hermione Granger one Halloween. I want to wait until I can do it properly though and I still have yet to acquire a wand. No worries though because I AM GOING TO THE WIZARDING WORLD OF HARRY POTTER. I already have biting wit and a time turner so the only other thing I would need would be Gryffindor robes...

IMPORTANT DATES TO REMEMBER THIS HOLIDAY SEASON:
November 18: Family Fun Thanksgiving Dinner (although it falls on a very inconvenient day and I may not make it...)& HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PT.1
November 23: Leave for Tex-ass
November 25: Thanksgiving Day
November 26: BLACK FRIDAY (In which I spend copious amounts of dollars on people I love...and possibly myself)
November 30: My super cute brother's 12th birthday
December 8: My super adorable sister's 16th birthday. Scary.
December 17: Leave for Orlando AKA Disney World & The Wizarding World of Harry Potter
December 22: Home from Disney World
December 25: CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 29: Leave for NYC (if we ever actually book a hotel)
December 31: New Year's Eve Times Square

Note to self: Self, remember to write a Farewell 2010 post before being lost in the throngs of people in Times Square. Courtney, Colton, Amh, Alex if you're reading this we needs to get busy booking or else I fear the worst. The other day I noticed that hotels in NYC are filling up fast.

I want to cut my hair off. I want to buy a video camera. I want to buy something crazy. I want to be done with this assy assy semester. I want the holidays to start.

I hereby swear that I will not miss another day of class and that I will actually do all the assignments that are given to me. I also promise to kick ass on my exams. Because if I'm amazing in school, the holidays will be so much better. Really, if I want to feel good about myself I've got to start making an effort of sorts. It puts me in a weird-anxious mood when I'm lazy. Not healthy.

Speaking of healthy, I haven't drank any alcohol or smoked any substance since August. I haven't eaten seafood since I saw The Cove last month. And now, I have decided to challenge myself by becoming a vegetarian. That's right. I'm not eating meat. It's been a week so far and I'm not in any real pain. We'll see how long this lasts.

I would continue typing this blog of nonsense but I'm being interrupted at the moment by a little person called Tucker Claire Wahl. And she is serious.

Halloween

In some traditions, Halloween is said to mark the end of the lighter half of the year and the beginning of the darker half of the year. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I kind of think the last part of the year is way better than most of the other months.

The Ancient Celts believed that the barrier between this world and the next is particularly thin on this day allowing spirits to pass through. Sometimes these spirits are happy spirits like Casper. Other times these spirits are super scary like the one in Angie's house.

The souling practice of commemorating the souls in purgatory with candle lanterns carved from turnips, became adapted into the making of jack-o'-lanterns. So pumpkin carving is all about preserving creepy souls in purgatory. Weird.

Halloween imagery includes themes of death, evil, the occult, magic, or mythical monsters. Traditional characters include ghosts, witches, skeletons, vampires, werewolves, demons, bats, spiders, and black cats. Black and orange are the traditional Halloween colors and represent the darkness of night and the color of bonfires, autumn leaves, and jack-o'-lanterns.

"What sets Halloween costumes apart from costumes for other celebrations or days of dressing up is that they are often designed to imitate supernatural and scary beings. Costumes are traditionally those of monsters such as vampires, ghosts, skeletons, witches, and devils, or in more recent years such science fiction-inspired characters as aliens and superheroes. There are also costumes of pop culture figures like presidents, athletes, celebrities, or film, television, and cartoon characters. Another popular trend is for women (and in some cases, men) to wear sexy or revealing costumes."-Wikipedia, AKA: women like to dress like whores. Thanks for your discretion, Wikipedia. Being Juno was super fun except when people thought I was really pregnant and looked at me with disapproval. Tehe.

Unmarried women were told that if they sat in a darkened room and gazed into a mirror on Halloween night, the face of their future husband would appear in the mirror. However, if they were destined to die before marriage, a skull would appear. I'm trying this tonight and I'll let you know what happens. Hopefully Jake Gyllenhal will forget about T. Swift and realize he loves me.

Foods I Ate In Honor Of Halloween: M&M's, Nerds, Pixie Sticks, Hershey's, Dum Dums, Cupcakes, Apple Pie, Caramel Apples, Pumpkin Pie.

Movies I Watched In Honor Of Halloween: Scream, Scream 2, Scream 3, the preview for Scream 4 like 7 times, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Red Eye, Sleepy Hollow, The Crazies, Freddy vs. Jason, 28 Days Later, Halloweentown, Halloweentown 2: Kalabar's Revenge, Halloween, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Hocus Pocus, etc.

that's me in the corner

I need to change something. I feel like I say that all the time. I also feel like I go through periods of time where I experience this intense need to change something about my life. Sometimes it expresses itself as a change of hair color or maybe a brief wardrobe change. Sometimes I change the kind of music I listen to or the kind of movies I'm in to or my favorite TV show. Sometimes I decide that I will start eating different foods or drinking different drinks. Sometimes I decide to delete certain things: people, places, thoughts, feelings. I'm good at deleting.

I'm not sure if it is a totally normal thing, this need for change. I don't see other people making changes that often. Maybe every now and again. Most of the time people just SAY they want to be more interesting or they want to get in shape or they want to stop acting like a dumbass. Hardly anyone actually ever does what they say they're going to do. It's disappointing. If everyone did half the things they really wanted to do people would be more interesting. They'd also probably be happier.

I recently got awarded this grant for $16,000. That is a lot of money. To me. Seriously like two months ago I was in a total state of dispair at how much money I didn't have and now the thought that I have all this money scares me. I can afford to do the things I really want to do. I can go to NYC this New Years and totally afford it. I can study abroad wherever I want. Hell, I can fly to fucking Amsterdam.

When I graduate stupid college, I'm going to sell my car and all the shit I have that I don't need (except my books, DVDs, and interesting things, and laptop, and iphone) and I'm going to move somewhere terrifying. And buy a motorcycle. Because why in the world wouldn't I? I'm not getting married any time soon. Contrary to popular belief, one does not have to be married with a mortgage and baby by 25. I don't even understand how people have fully decided who they are by the time they're 25 much less decided that they'll be that same person forever and ever amen.

It's not healthy.

In other news: I love Colton. Thank you for today. I had a great time in ATL. It made me wish that you and I had a trendy flat in the city with super cool things and super cool clothes. Everyone should go watch The Cove right now. It's horrifyingly amazing. I'm never eating seafood again, I swear. Yes, I'm serious Callie. Good thing we had that delicious meal at the Red Lobster recently because that's the last marine life I'll be tasting ever. Speaking of, just being around you and Courtney and Jamie and Anna-Marie was the best time we've had together in a long time. I like it best when we're just existing in the same place. Sometimes you can't plan the best days. They just happen. The Whigs was one of those happy happy concerts that you leave feeling a million times better about life. Music can do that to you. It's like everyone there is united in one thing and everything just sort of gets simple. It doesn't matter that the drunk sixteen year olds that snuck in are getting it on in front of you. You're just at peace with it all. I also love Mason and the other Colton. They are fun and much cooler than most people.

SOUNDTRACK OF THE MOMENT:
"Everybody Hurts"-R.E.M.
"Wild is the Wind"-Nina Simone
"Congratulations"-MGMT
"Fuck You"-Cee Lo Green
"Come Home"-One Republic & Sara Bareilles
"Raise Your Glass"-Pink
"Until the Stars Fall from the Sky"-Mark Hoppus & Richard Gibbs
"I Can Feel a Hot One"-Manchester Orchestra
"2012"-Jay Sean & Nicki Minaj
"Ashes & Wine"-A Fine Frenzy
"This Ship Was Built to Last"-The Duke Spirit
"The Ice is Getting Thinner"-Death Cab for Cutie
"The Difference Between Us"-The Dead Weather
"40 Dogs"-Bob Schneider
"Beat the Devil's Tattoo"-Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
"Lies"-The Black Keys
"Come Back When You Can"-Barcelona
"Sometime Around Midnight"-The Airborne Toxic Event