Womanizer

The other day, I asked my sister why exactly it is cool to be a super-geek about Harry Potter and why it isn't cool to be a super-geek about Twilight. We entered into a long and tiring converstation in which we finally came to the conclusion that it is because of the 9-15 year olds and the soccer moms. You see, it isn't considered cool to like the same things as babies are soccer moms who drive mini vans and go to PTO meetings. Even if you DID like Twilight 100 years before everyone else in the free world liked it. Which sucks btw. It's just like JJ Abrams, Bradley Cooper, and old teen movies. I like them for years before JJ Abrams decided to become a mainstream phenom and Bradley Cooper made The Hangover and old teen movies started being remade because people have such horrible taste in movies that they won't watch anything actually worthwhile so Hollywood has to keep shitting out movies about comic book heroes and redoing old teen movies, but I digress.

Anywho, I decided to do some research and figure out why exactly it is that housewives, kids who are too young to be reading about vampire pregnancies, teenagers who can't digest the classics and pretty much everyone else in the world all of a sudden likes vampires. I mean where were all of these people when Buffy was on TV? If all these people loved vampires then, we could've squeezed out a few more seasons!

WHY WOMEN LOVE VAMPIRES (or Why I Can't Go Anywhere Without Hearing The Name Edward Cullen)

#1 Vampires Are Loners:

Vampires like to be alone. They don't have a bunch of dude friends constantly taking up their time and making obnoxious jokes. We love vampires because vampire men never ever have anything to do. They'd rather be with you than do almost anything else. Vampires have all the time in the world.

#2 You Don't Have To Entertain Them During The Day

You know how you get overwhelmed when your boyfriend is at your house all day and then wants to do something at night? None of that with vampires. You can do whatever you want all day without having to worry about texting or hanging with your man. And then, you get to spend all night with them.

#3 Vampires Dress Well

How is it that vampires always look good? You'll never find a vampire looking like absolute shit unless they've just been in a fight. Which is kind of sexy. And even then they're still wearing designer clothes.

#4 Vampires Aren't Just About The Sex

Vampires would much rather make out or be involved in some heavy petting. Not to say they don't like sex, but they take their time getting there. Look at Angel. No sex until he couldn't take it anymore and wham bam no soul for him. And Edward. No sex until he couldn't put it off any longer and he got Bella preggers with a vampire child. Vampires embrace all the wonders of just kissing and aren't just after your ass.

#5 Vampires Are Moody

We all like to complain about drama, but in reality all women love drama. It's no fun if there isn't any drama in the relationship. And vampires are all full of mixed emotions and whinyness.

#6 Vampires Are Persuasive

Vampires love convincing their women to try new things. Like Bill. Bill convinces Sookie that it's perfectly okay for him to bite her from time to time. Vampires are suave, cool, soft-spoken and this only intensifies their charm. And us girls, we eat that shit up.

#7 Vampires Search Forever To Find "The Girl"

Vampires live forever and so they spend their whole lives searching for something to make it all better. This usually includes a human girl who is, in fact, the girl this vampire has "been looking for all of his meaningless existence. It's all very romantic. Which brings me to...

#8 Vampires Are Romantic

It's true. Vampires can romance the crap out of just about anyone. They're always dark and mysterious and moody and guilt-ridden and this somehow leads them to be extremely romantic. Plus they never talk too much and always make sure that everything goes perfectly. No awkwardness, no shyness. It comes with years of practice.

#9 Vampires Are Strong

Women love men who are strong and powerful. They are physically strong and usually in pretty good shape. (Brad Pitt in Interview with a Vampire) They are also mentally strong and usually incredibly intelligent. (Edward Cullen) This amazing combo of being nearly invincible and muscular plus being able to recite the square root of pi is very impressive to a lady.

And Finally....

#10 Vampires Are The Ultimate Bad Boys

We all love bad boys even if we are afraid to admit it. Plus a vampire is searching for his true love, needs a woman's love, lives by his own rules, wears nice clothes, and is hated by millions of people. This makes him the ultimate bad ass. You couldn't possible pick someone that is worse for you and that adds to a vampire's attractiveness.

Why? Idk. I'm just another mindless fan who happens to be a woman and absolutely dies everytime she sees Brad Pitt as a vampire.

(Note: "Womanizer" is a song by Britney Spears and all research came from AskMen.com and Wikipedia)