You Belong With Me

You know on TV shows, books, and movies when there's these two people who are like, obviously going to end up together but they insist on making it incredibly difficult for each other? Well for me, that's the real life story of two of my very best friends that I've known forever. For anonymity's sake let's call them...Elizabeth and Mr.Darcy.

Now, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy's tale is epic. They've known each other since before preschool, they're families have known each other forever, and they're all around just meant to be. So, once upon a time, Mr. Darcy professes his love for Elizabeth but of course Elizabeth doesn't take him seriously. For whatever reason (pride, fear, stupidity?) Elizabeth turns him down. Now, Mr. Darcy picks up his pride and the pieces of his poor little heart and tries to move on. Elizabeth even suggests the village...escort to bring him out of his slump, after all they've always been best friends. Meanwhile, Elizabeth tries dating Mr. Wickham who is, in fact, a good-for-nothing son-of-a-bitch. Elizabeth doesn't find this out until later of course. After the dust settles and Mr. Wickham is long gone, Elizabeth realizes her true and devoted love for her best friend, Mr. Darcy. However, Mr. Darcy is now dating Elizabeth friend...Charlotte. Elizabeth resists telling Mr. Darcy her true feelings out of respect for Charlotte. However, Charlotte and Mr. Darcy don't last long because those kinds of relationships never do, obviously. Plus, it just so happens that Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy will be travelling out of the country together.

Now, at this tropical rendezvous Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy act on their (obviously mutual) feelings whilst slightly inebriated. Instead of talking about it afterwards or even, I don't know, actually saying HOW THEY FEEL, they merely ignore it and continue about their lives. I am proud that they made at least a definite step forward. Because, to any sane person (outside the situation, of course) it's obvious that they love each other and will eventually get married. It's only a matter of time. Anyone who's read Pride and Prejudice knows that Elizabeth eventually admits her feelings to Mr. Darcy's bitchy aunt and whenever he finds out he rushes to her and says:

“You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever.”

To which readers are given Elizabeth's internal struggle: "Elizabeth feeling all the more than common awkwardness and anxiety of his situation, now forced herself to speak; and immediately, though not very fluently, gave him to understand, that her sentiments had undergone so material a change, since the period to which he alluded, as to make her receive with gratitude and pleasure, his present assurances."

Which all basically means they finally, finally, finally, told the effing truth. I mean seriously, Elizabeth just swallow that pride and give him the old one-two. Tell him like it is. Men can't do anything for themselves they need a little prodding. Especially this particular Mr. Darcy. You're gonna have to get right up in his face and say:

"Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But (insert name here), I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me."

Elizabeth's everywhere eventually have to say it. We all eventually have to give up that power, that pride and put it all out there in the open. It's scary and it can hurt like hell, but in the end saying it beats the hell out of never trying.

(Note: I'd like to dedicate this blog to "Elizabeth" I love you and I'm proud of you. Title comes from "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift)

Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

It's probably a cliche by now to post a blog about Michael Jackson, but I'm gonna do it anyway. MJ was the King of Pop. No one can dispute that. However, its been said many a'time that Michael wasn't exactly a morally just man. Maybe he was a child molester. Maybe he used his happy abode Neverland as a front. Maybe he did a bunch of drugs. Hell, maybe he killed a bunch of people.

The fact is, none of that matters once you're dead. It doesn't matter what you did to Great Aunt Sue at the 25th annual family reunion. It doesn't matter that you're gay and your parents disowned you. It doesn't matter that you have the sadistic pleasure of stealing little girl's underpants. When you're dead and gone, your List Of All The Horrible Things I've Done disappears.

Aunt Sue will remember all of the times you brought her an extra piece of pecan pie. Your parents will wish they hadn't disowned you and realize their mistake. Someone will wonder why you have so many teeny tiny pairs of undies. When it's all over, all that's left is you. Who you are. Not your accomplishments or failures. Just you.

Right now, all over the world, television stations are airing Michael Jackson specials. Every web browser has a feature and Youtube and MTV are playing his greatest hits nonstop. No one cares about his indiscretions. Everyone is remembering the first time Andrew did the Thriller dance at graduation. The time you tried to copy the Beat It dance but never could get it right. The time you attempted to do the moon walk. Because, who hasn't tried that?

Death is the great equalizer and no one can escape it. But people, the fact that for once, just once, the world isn't talking about all the bad things Michael did. The tabloids are running pictures of him hanging his baby out the window. The world is looking back on Michael and what his music meant to them. And that's who Michael Jackson is. He is his music. And his music will live on, cheesy as that sounds. And doesn't everyone want something whole, something solid to leave behind when they go?

In the words of Michael Jackson: “If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.”

Indeed, it can.

(Note: "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" is a song by the late Michael Jackson, may he rest in peace.)

Womanizer

The other day, I asked my sister why exactly it is cool to be a super-geek about Harry Potter and why it isn't cool to be a super-geek about Twilight. We entered into a long and tiring converstation in which we finally came to the conclusion that it is because of the 9-15 year olds and the soccer moms. You see, it isn't considered cool to like the same things as babies are soccer moms who drive mini vans and go to PTO meetings. Even if you DID like Twilight 100 years before everyone else in the free world liked it. Which sucks btw. It's just like JJ Abrams, Bradley Cooper, and old teen movies. I like them for years before JJ Abrams decided to become a mainstream phenom and Bradley Cooper made The Hangover and old teen movies started being remade because people have such horrible taste in movies that they won't watch anything actually worthwhile so Hollywood has to keep shitting out movies about comic book heroes and redoing old teen movies, but I digress.

Anywho, I decided to do some research and figure out why exactly it is that housewives, kids who are too young to be reading about vampire pregnancies, teenagers who can't digest the classics and pretty much everyone else in the world all of a sudden likes vampires. I mean where were all of these people when Buffy was on TV? If all these people loved vampires then, we could've squeezed out a few more seasons!

WHY WOMEN LOVE VAMPIRES (or Why I Can't Go Anywhere Without Hearing The Name Edward Cullen)

#1 Vampires Are Loners:

Vampires like to be alone. They don't have a bunch of dude friends constantly taking up their time and making obnoxious jokes. We love vampires because vampire men never ever have anything to do. They'd rather be with you than do almost anything else. Vampires have all the time in the world.

#2 You Don't Have To Entertain Them During The Day

You know how you get overwhelmed when your boyfriend is at your house all day and then wants to do something at night? None of that with vampires. You can do whatever you want all day without having to worry about texting or hanging with your man. And then, you get to spend all night with them.

#3 Vampires Dress Well

How is it that vampires always look good? You'll never find a vampire looking like absolute shit unless they've just been in a fight. Which is kind of sexy. And even then they're still wearing designer clothes.

#4 Vampires Aren't Just About The Sex

Vampires would much rather make out or be involved in some heavy petting. Not to say they don't like sex, but they take their time getting there. Look at Angel. No sex until he couldn't take it anymore and wham bam no soul for him. And Edward. No sex until he couldn't put it off any longer and he got Bella preggers with a vampire child. Vampires embrace all the wonders of just kissing and aren't just after your ass.

#5 Vampires Are Moody

We all like to complain about drama, but in reality all women love drama. It's no fun if there isn't any drama in the relationship. And vampires are all full of mixed emotions and whinyness.

#6 Vampires Are Persuasive

Vampires love convincing their women to try new things. Like Bill. Bill convinces Sookie that it's perfectly okay for him to bite her from time to time. Vampires are suave, cool, soft-spoken and this only intensifies their charm. And us girls, we eat that shit up.

#7 Vampires Search Forever To Find "The Girl"

Vampires live forever and so they spend their whole lives searching for something to make it all better. This usually includes a human girl who is, in fact, the girl this vampire has "been looking for all of his meaningless existence. It's all very romantic. Which brings me to...

#8 Vampires Are Romantic

It's true. Vampires can romance the crap out of just about anyone. They're always dark and mysterious and moody and guilt-ridden and this somehow leads them to be extremely romantic. Plus they never talk too much and always make sure that everything goes perfectly. No awkwardness, no shyness. It comes with years of practice.

#9 Vampires Are Strong

Women love men who are strong and powerful. They are physically strong and usually in pretty good shape. (Brad Pitt in Interview with a Vampire) They are also mentally strong and usually incredibly intelligent. (Edward Cullen) This amazing combo of being nearly invincible and muscular plus being able to recite the square root of pi is very impressive to a lady.

And Finally....

#10 Vampires Are The Ultimate Bad Boys

We all love bad boys even if we are afraid to admit it. Plus a vampire is searching for his true love, needs a woman's love, lives by his own rules, wears nice clothes, and is hated by millions of people. This makes him the ultimate bad ass. You couldn't possible pick someone that is worse for you and that adds to a vampire's attractiveness.

Why? Idk. I'm just another mindless fan who happens to be a woman and absolutely dies everytime she sees Brad Pitt as a vampire.

(Note: "Womanizer" is a song by Britney Spears and all research came from AskMen.com and Wikipedia)

Time is Running Out

Do you ever get that feeling like something bad is going to happen? Like somebody somewhere is pissed at you and they're just waiting for the right time to blow up in your face? I feel like that. It's probably irrational and probably a little paranoid but I do feel like that.

Currently I'm in Texas not doing a damn thing. It's been a pretty relaxing trip. People have been cooking me food and mixing me drinks all week. I've been tanning and swimming and shopping nonstop, which seems like a pretty accurate description of my whole summer. I have yet to do anything worthwhile except going to SOAR. Those thank-you notes remain empty. Whatever.

Somehow, I always end up in screwed up situations. Like somehow or another I'm THAT person. I don't know. Maybe some part of me is responsible for this. Who knows? I think that I could possibly be a terrible hypocrite and possibly a psychopath. My family thinks I'm a selfish bitch. I made a quiz on the Face about myself and no one can pass. I need to pay for a lot of shit and I don't have enough money. I wish that I was younger and everyone would smile at how cute I was and buy me everything I needed and even when someone was really angry with you they wouldn't be angry for long because you're a kid.

When you're a kid, you aren't responsible for anything. When you're a kid you can do whatever you want. I always used to want to grow up as fast as possible. I longed to be in middle school, couldn't wait to be 16 to get a car and was absolutely thrilled to be a legal adult. Now I just feel like that sand in hourglasses. You can't stop it and no matter how hard you try, you fall everytime.

Life really is like an hourglass glued to the table.

(Note: "Time is Running Out" is a song by Muse)

Unwritten

So I've been watching The Hills nonstop lately and I've realized something. On the outside, The Hills looks like a fake reality show about a bunch a rich people going to clubs and causing drama. However, The Hills is more than that. The Hills can teach us much about life.

Lesson #1: You should always have good nails. The people on this show always have excellently manicured or painted nails. It just makes them look even more put together. I mean, everyone has time to use a little nail polish.

Lesson #2: If your boyfriend as a real D-bag to your friends, its probably a sign that he might actually be a real D-bag. Hello? Spencer is a sad pathetic little shit and yet he brainwashes Heidi into losing all of her friends.

Lesson #3: If you let your boyfriend control your life, you are a dipshit. I mean really. How's that worked out for anyone?

Lesson #4: You should always, always, always say exactly what you feel. If everyone was a little more upfront about their feelings, regardless of the potential consequences, things would be so much easier.

Lesson #5: "Truth and time tells all." Justin Bobby may be disgusting and an asshole, but the man can be wise.

Lesson #6: "Always dress nicer than you think you should." Being overdressed is always better than looking like the slob of the bunch.

Lesson #7: "Love is not a maybe thing. You know when you love somebody." Its true, even though sometimes it really sucks. Well spoken, Lauren Conrad.

Lesson #8: Never, ever turn down a trip to Paris. Even if your boyfriend will potentially get super bitchy or find a new girlfriend with bigger boobs while you're away.

Lesson #9: You should visit home on occasion or else you might go a tad insane. Everyone needs a dose of normalcy every now and again.

Lesson #10: It is never a good idea to have platinum blonde hair. Period. Ever.

The amazing thing, is that these very informative and helpful lessons are only the tip of the iceburg when it comes to this show. I could go on forever, but I'm late for a date with my pals to see The Hangover. Yay!

(Note: Unwritten is the theme song of The Hills by Natasha Bedingfield or something.)

The Day the World Went Away

So, I graduated High School. It was a truly wonderful experience. Our class spent our last hour together in the Library and I really felt like everyone was going to miss someone there. It was like the years of stress and drama didn't really matter because for that one hour, we all felt the same thing. It sounds cheesy but I really felt like everyone connected or something. Throughout the ceremony, I got to thinking about the last four years and everything that has happened and I can honestly say that I have no regrets. I can look back fondly on high school and know that even the lowest moment taught me something. I love my classmates, even though I hate some of them. I love my teachers, even though they could be real bitches. I loved high school, I really did. Maybe that makes me one of those people but I don't care. Anyway, you couldn't make me go back for all the money in the world. College, here I come!

The senior trip was everything I hoped it would be. A tiny bit of drama, but whatever. I don't regret getting a tattoo even though I was a tad drunk at the time. Speaking of, almost dying of alcohol poisoning taught me a valuable lesson: I don't want to be one of those girls. I don't want to party and drink all of the time. Sure, I'm gonna have a good time and probably drink on occasion, but I don't want to be like...those girls. But, it was fun. You're supposed to be wasted on your senior trip. I also felt like I grew a lot closer to everyone who went on the cruise. There were like no boundaries between us for a while and I hope it stays that way. I wouldn't have done one thing differently, except maybe buying more Kalik in the Bahamas. I don't care what you say, that shit is boss.

Seeing my old friends graduate really took me back. Their parents were all really happy to see me, I took loads of pictures, and we were exactly where we were 18 years ago. Of course, we've all changed. Taylor is like dating this dude now, which is weird because she was always the one with all of the sense who stayed away from boys. Bailey is older and wiser than she used to be, but ever the idealist. She always sees the good in people and always thinks that she will have her fairytale ending. Hogan is dating this bitchtastic slut that Bailey pretends to be friends with. Whatever, they will sort this thing out and end up together like I always knew they would. And I will become a minister and marry their asses.

I am currently being a bum. My life consists of watching The Hills, reading the books that have been piling up since the 10th grade when I stopped having time to read for pleasure, and avoiding writing my thank you notes. I got my shots for college but it still seems like I have a million things to do to get ready for the next great adventure. But meantime, I have to start reading, finish The Hills, and watch all of the amazing summer movies coming out.

(Note: "The Day the World Went Away" is by Nine Inch Nails and is featured in the trailer for Terminator Salvation, my new favorite movie.)