And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going

I think I'm an insomniac. I can't sleep. Even when I stay up until four, I never get a good nights rest. Also, I'm fairly certain my dreams are trying to tell me something.

I keep having the dream where my teeth fall out. It's weird because its been constant for the last couple of weeks. Every single night I dream that for some reason my teeth are falling out. So, like a real human being I decided to consult Google. So, Google tells me that this dream can mean subconsious issues in an number of areas but most likely my dreams are telling me that I feel powerless. The teeth, you see, are a symbol of power in many cultures because they are the instruments by which animals get food, fight off attackers, etc. Since my teeth are falling out, it symbolizes a sense of powerlessness. Apparently, I am frustrated by a lack of authority or worth. Which is ridiculous because I'm a confident individual. Most of the time I am assert myself as the person in power of a situation because, as I've been told, I have a very dominant personality.

This, of course, lead me to the obvious conclusion that I should take a personality profile on the internet. Apparently I have a "Conscientous" personality. Which means I'm hard working, with strong opinions and beliefs, who believes in the proper order of things and that everything must be done correctly. I'm organized and very detailed. I have a practical, no-nonsense view of the world and very rarely let my emotions show. However, despite the fact that my emotions are hard to read, I'm an incredibly emotional person on the inside but don't like people to know that fact. I am careful and cautious in many aspects of my life including both socially and romantically. I also don't like to throw anything away. Or so this so-called "personality test" says. Personally, I don't think these things are very accurate.

In other news, I think watching so much Bones is making me want to become an anthropologist. Not that I hadn't thought about the idea more than once of course. The idea of studying humans in various cultures and times fascinates me. I just don't think its very practical. Although, that travelling would be fantastic. But alas, no decisions for me until the new year.

Speaking of which, I need to find a nice man to take advantage of on New Years Eve. If anyone knows any takers, I'm open to suggestions. I refuse to ring in 2010 like I did 2009. I'm going to have a nice evening. And I'm going to get my mack on. Holy shit, I sound like a rapist. Which brings me to a very important lesson, kids. Do not drink things out of stranger's flasks. It isn't a good plan.

"You pay a great deal too dear for what's given freely". - The Winter's Tale (Act I, Scene I).

(Note: "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" covered by Glee cast)

Bad Romance

I'm ready for the new year. No, seriously, ridiculously READY for the new year. It's not that I'm over 2009, it was awesome fo sho. I just need 2010 to exist. My horoscope told me that I can 't make any decisions AT ALL until the new year. Which is very very frustrating. I'm the kind of person that likes to make decisions as problems arise and then deal with the consequences at a later date. But, the good old horoscope says no and who the hell am I to argue with fate? Apparently, if I do decide anything, the end result like "complete and utter destruction" or something and that doesn't sound like fun with glow sticks to me.

''You sunk my battleship, Rod. And you sunk it hard.'' -Sue Sylvester

I just really wish I could shut off my mind sometimes. Its uncontrollable here recently. Like, seriously, shut the hell up, Bekah. Do not go there. There is not happy. There is very, very ugly. Uh uh.

“You know what they say. Maybe I’m just drawn that way.” -Beautiful Creatures

I just read this book, Beautiful Creatures, and it is fantastic. Totally recommend for a little fun, light reading. Also, Warner Brothers has already optioned the rights so you can expect an adorable flick in a few years with some hip, unknown but really hot actors probably that will eventually dominate our tabloids and media outlets.

Speaking of wonderful books turned movie franchises, I don't think I could be more excited about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One than I am right at this moment. Holy smokes. What an excellent story. Except for the obvious flaws and misunderstandings. Obviously, I'll just continue to block those out.

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" -Albus Dumbledore

Oh, also, Legend of the Seeker is AWESOME. Better than Battlestar Galactica, even. And I love me some BSG. I cannot wait for Santa to bring me the books. It shall be a wonderful Christmas. Really though, it is so good. Forbidden love, destiny, swords, sexy people. I just can't wait until the next episode.

"People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it might be true. People's heads are full of knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it true. People are stupid; they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool." -Legend of the Seeker

Books I will read over the holiday: The Lovely Bones, Everything That Rises Must Converge, The Stand (maybe), Atonement (maybe)....Ugh. I can never ever seem to make it through those two. I always start, get a couple pages in and give up. It's an unconcious thing, I guess. Kind of like the time I tried to finally read Anna Karenina. Whatever.

Mostly, though, I'm gonna write like a beast in my journal. I seriously neglected the poor darling over the summer.

I want your love and I want your revenge. What is GaGa trying to say?

(Note: "Bad Romance", Lady GaGa)